Children don't come with owner's manuals. Alas. Toddlers-full of energy and eager to test your limits as well as their legs-can be particularly tricky to parent. Here are some parenting mistakes every mom and dad of a toddler should avoid.
Being inconsistent
Toddlers do best when they know what to expect, whether it's what time they bathe or go to bed, or what consequences they'll face for misbehaving. The more consistent and predictable things are, the more resilient and agreeable a toddler is likely to be.
As much as you can, keep regular routines for your child. Consistency can be a challenge when parents (or other caregivers) don't see eye to eye. Sit down with your partner ahead of time to decide on an appropriate response-and stick with it.
Focusing on family time
It's delightful to spend time with the whole family. But some parents go overboard on family time.Kids cherish time alone time with one parent," says Thomas Phelan, PhD, a clinical psychologist in suburban Chicago. "One-on-one time is fun for parents too, because there's no sibling rivalry to contend with." What's a good way to spend one-on-one time with a toddler? Phelan recommends simply getting down on the floor together and playing.
Offering too much help
Some parents jump in to help a toddler who is having trouble doing something. Before you do, consider the possibility that by helping your child complete a puzzle or put on a shirt, you may be sending the message that he/she can't do it alone-in other words, that the child is incompetent.
Talking too much
Talking with toddlers is usually a terrific idea. But not when it's time to rein in errant behaviour.Imagine a mom has just said "no" to her two-year-old's request for a cookie. The child fusses. Mom explains that it's suppertime. The child grabs a cookie anyway. Mom takes it away, and tries again to explain herself to her now tearful child. Back and forth it goes, with mounting frustration on both sides.
Toddlers are not adults in a little body. They're not logical, and they just can't assimilate what you are saying to them.What's the smart way to lay down the law? Once you tell your toddler to do something, don't talk about it or make eye contact. If the child disobeys, give a brief verbal warning or count to three. If the child refuses to toe the line, give a time-out or another immediate consequence. No explaining!
Serving only kiddie food
Does your toddler seem to eat nothing but chicken fingers and fries? Are goldfish crackers the only fish he or she eats? As some parents realise too late, toddlers fed a steady diet of nutritionally iffy kid's foods may resist eating anything else. Encourage your child to try "grown-up" fare.
Getting rid of the crib
Cribs do more than keep little ones safe. They promote good sleep habits. A toddler moved too soon into a "real" bed may have trouble staying in bed or falling asleep, and so may end up climbing into bed with mummy and daddy. When is it time to get rid of the crib? When your child asks for a bed or starts climbing out of the crib. For most kids, that comes between the ages of two and three.
Starting potty training too soon
Some parents cajole their children into using the toilet when they think it's time-and issue harsh reprimands when things go awry. That can lead to a power struggle.
Children learn to use the toilet when they are ready, and this process shouldn't be rushed. But you can set the stage. Show your toddler the toilet. Explain its use.
Allowing too much screen time
Toddlers who watch lots of TV often have more trouble learning later on. And studies suggest that kids under the age of two can't really take in what's being displayed on TV and computer screens. Keep your toddler busy with reading and other, more creative pursuits.
Trying to stop a tantrum
Some parents worry that an out-of-control child makes them seem like ineffectual parents. But all toddlers have tantrums. When they do, it's pointless to try to talk them out of it-even if the drama is unfolding in front of company or in a public place.
If people glare or offer unwanted advice, simply smile and say something like, "Gosh, do you remember what it was like?" Then scoop up the wailing child and find a place away from prying eyes for the tantrum to run its course.