Kevin Baldeosingh
I have always opposed bigotry in any shape or form, including heptagons. For years now, I have been speaking out against racism, sexism and herbalism and have never discriminated against people who don't run like me, have less sex than me, or are more mellow than me. Of course, I have my prejudices. For example, I dislike roast baigan, three-piece suits, and Seventh-Day Adventist pastor Clive Dottin. But that is only because Pastor Dottin looks like a roast baigan in a three-piece suit.
In any case, as a writer and journalist, I am aware of the need to overcome my own biases and present all sides of an issue. And, given the landmark judgment in the United States last week which gives homosexuals the right to marry, I felt it was necessary to air the views of persons who oppose gays having the same rights as human beings. Unfortunately, I do not air the views of bigots unless I have eaten too much curry chataigne.
However, in the interests of public edification, I have taken views from real persons in this place, presenting their actual arguments as to why gay rights are wrong. The advantage of this approach is that I can help such persons reach the logical conclusions that they never seem to make for themselves. As follows:
"Homosexuality is unnatural."
It's hard to get within speaking distance of persons who make this argument, since they don't use deodorant. They also don't wear any clothes, which makes conversation awkward. You can't even rebut them via email, since people who use the Internet are going to Hell.
"If gays are given the right to marry, the human race will die out since homosexuals do not reproduce."A long time ago, I shook the hand of the late playwright Godfrey Sealy, who was the first person in Trinidad and Tobago to publicly admit his HIV-positive status, when I met him at a theatre.
Yet I still got married. And, a couple of years after I got married, I shook the hand of gay rights activist Colin Robinson at a conference. Yet I now have two children. This must mean that I am an unusually strong-minded individual, since the people who argue that acceptance of gays will turn everyone gay must, at some level, believe that this will happen to them. Perhaps that is why so many of them spend so much time imagining what gays do in their bedrooms.
"God says homosexuality is wrong."
God also says it's wrong to wear clothes made of different threads; to eat pork; and to horn: and He mandates that anyone who commits these acts should be executed. So any believer who believes that God or God or God thinks homosexuals should be stoned to death must kill themselves if they have committed any of the several other sins that God and God and the other God says deserve death.
"Marriage between a man and a woman is sacred."
And sex between a priest and a little boy is expensive, since the Holy Roman Catholic Church spent millions of dollars to protect such priests and to further traumatise their child victims.
But if priests who have never had sex with a woman are asserting that such a relationship is more sacred and more special than a relationship between two men or twowomen or two feather dusters, they must think gays and lesbians and cleaning implements do not have the same emotional capacity as heterosexuals. Logically, though, this would mean that priests think bisexuals have the most special relationship of all.
"Homosexuals should not be allowed to impose their beliefs on other people."It's not imposing their beliefs when pastors assert that the Earth is 6,000 years old; when imams say that nine-year-old girls can be married to 56-year-old men; and when pundits claim that every misfortune that happens to entire castes is caused by evil they did in previous lives. But homosexuals wanting the same rights as heterosexuals is like threatening people with a 357 Magnum pistol.
"If gays are given rights, disaster will follow."
Since the United States gave homosexuals the right to marry six days ago, Washington DC has been destroyed by fire; Los Angeles has been devastated by earthquakes; New York has been eaten by locusts; and San Francisco has a painful rash. The world has not heard about these events because the godless media is covering them up so atheists won't be embarrassed. Stay tuned.
Kevin Baldeosingh in a professional writer, author of three novels, and co-author of a history textbook.