On Monday, a frenetic election season will come to an end. Until the polls open at that hour of salvation, my ears will ring and my eyes will water at all that has gone before.
"Who yuh votin' for?... PNM! Who yuh votin' for?... PNM!" Stuck at a roundabout, my rear view mirror throbs with this lyrical admonition.
The song might as well have been, "Shhhh, hush yuh mout, no problem.... we mus' vote een de PNM! Fresh gears fuh de yute, false teet fuh de old... look sharp, Gypsy comin' een from de cole!"
The audio distortion is more than any reasonable person can bear. I wrestle with the steering to work my way out of this impromptu political blocko.
But wait! What is this? On the next street, yellow-shirted UNC supporters chip jubilantly but hesitantly behind their own music truck.
They wave their flags...jubilantly; two supporters appoint themselves traffic wardens, giving conflicting directions to frazzled motorists.
The dominant elections composition on this truck seemed comprised of just one name, "Vasant...Vasant..." Having been hypnotised by that unimaginative chorus, for several hours after, I would only answer to the name Vasant.
The music truck trend in electioneering was in full force for this contentious poll. Lightweight, open-tray vehicles, normally totin' hardware supplies were co-opted for the campaign trail.
These trucks, piled dangerously high with audio equipment, gave us the Pied Piper treatment. Top heavy and swaying like a metronome, they even traversed back roads, bringing the noise to each household.
Convoys of music trucks, like mosquito-fogging units from the Ministry of Health, bombard residents with their noxious political messages.
You are expected to "come out yuh gyallery" and receive the bounty of branded flags and party T-shirts.
If you're lucky enough, the candidate will be there to receive your offer of whatever infant the house can muster for the political inoculation of a photo op kiss.
Music truck campaigning involves a confused mix of mirth and solemnity. The DJs "lure" you in with some soca hits of 2015, interspersed with, "Now is not a time to look back, vote for your famalay, vote for your future." Or, "it is time to take back the country, it is time for good governance." You don't know if to break out the Johnny Walker or break out the gramoxone.
With vast resources at their disposal, the PNM and UNC were able to sustain sound clashes across the country with regular frequency.
The COP and ILP, with considerably less folding money, could scarcely achieve that carnival-like atmosphere.
I even saw one mic man, probably used to driving around making garbled death announcements, bellowing the virtues of the ILP through scratchy loud horns; albeit with the same funereal tone applied to his death announcements.
The efficacy of such campaigning is, of course, questionable. Being bombarded in your home with music that is hard to keep down even during times of festivals was incredibly annoying.
There is a distinct feeling of being robbed of your right to peaceable enjoyment of life and property by political parties whom, we expect in victory, to uphold the rule of law. At least Jehovah's Witnesses, with their Watchtower publication and umbrellas, give you the option of closing the drapes and feigning absence.
It's easy to appreciate that music trucks are meant to rally the troops, stir them to the polls. But given that these party faithful have already bought the barbecue ticket, the daily, ear-splitting, traffic-snarling reminders are unnecessary.
I also puzzle about the perceived effectiveness of posters. Who on the committee decreed that a hundred posters of the candidate glued almost one on top the other on a wall is far better than 10 spaced out political bills? How does prodigious wallpapering of party literature sway the public? "Well it look like dem foot soldears rell nice up de place, now I know who to vote for!"
Political parties complained bitterly of vandalism of posters and billboards. On the Valencia stretch, which is lousy with these signboards from the different parties, they have almost all been torn to shreds, PNM, UNC and ILP alike. The options are, just put up more, or don't... either way, just shut up.
Even more foolish, is sending the same foot soldiers to paint on the roadway...in the dead of night. Can you imagine bending a corner and racing up on some fool with a can of paint squat in the middle of the road? Without the benefit of eyeshine like cats and dogs, that political Banksy is going in the undercarriage.
This sort of campaigning was perhaps more prevalent in the marginals. It is difficult to imagine that defacing public property and terrorising the elderly with loud music will give the edge that is needed to win those crucial seats. But then, none of the political parties appeared particularly interested in courting the middle.
I'm just glad it's over and we can all get back to the usual annoyances of inconsiderate fete promoters and round-the-way rumshops. At least they are less likely to go back on their promises and you have a choice to hand them your money.