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Friday, June 13, 2025

Boys will be boys?

by

20130120

With­in mod­ern so­ci­eties, there is a cul­tur­al pow­er sys­tem of ag­gres­sive, sex­ist and struc­tural­ly vi­o­lent mas­culin­i­ty that most het­ero­sex­u­al men, to vary­ing de­grees, take part in.As an aca­d­e­m­ic who in the past has de­scribed him­self as a fem­i­nist, yet who oc­ca­sion­al­ly laps­es in­to this same cul­ture, it is im­por­tant for me to speak out clear­ly about how this cul­ture con­nects to sex­u­al vi­o­lence, pre­dom­i­nant­ly against women.

In its least sin­is­ter and most pop­u­lar form, this cul­ture is one of male brava­do and stereo­types that sex­u­al­ly ob­jec­ti­fies and com­mod­i­fies women's bod­ies. Many men are so­cialised and brought up with­in this cul­ture, and many of us know it when we see it in oth­ers.At the same time, as ac­tive mem­bers of the cul­ture, many of us miss our sup­port­ing role in it. The be­hav­iours do not seem wrong when we are among a group of male friends. Of­ten it is part of the mem­ber­ship rites and lan­guage of the group.

So­cial psy­chol­o­gists sug­gest that some­how, when we're with oth­er peo­ple, we lose our ra­tio­nal ca­pac­i­ty or per­son­al iden­ti­ty which con­trols our be­hav­iour. And that it is ac­cep­tance of the norms and the val­ues of the group that be­comes most im­por­tant.To bet­ter un­der­stand that not all sex­u­al vi­o­lence means rape, aca­d­e­m­ic Liz Kel­ly sug­gests un­der­stand­ing women's every­day ex­pe­ri­ences of sex­u­al vi­o­lence along a con­tin­u­um from "choice to pres­sure to co­er­cion to force."

This helps to un­der­stand the sub­tleties of sex­u­al vi­o­lence, the point be­ing, sex­u­al vi­o­lence is more com­pli­cat­ed than vi­o­lent as­sault such as rape, but starts with and in­volves far more com­mon, every­day sit­u­a­tions, such as ha­rass­ment or tar­get­ing some­one who is drunk.

Now many men might take of­fence to be­ing swept up and placed in a cul­ture that pro­duces sex­u­al vi­o­lence. Many of us con­sid­er our­selves em­pa­thet­ic, car­ing, sen­si­tive to women's con­cerns–ie, men who sup­port women. And in many cas­es this is true. It is cer­tain­ly prob­lem­at­ic to ar­gue, as some do, that every man is a sex­u­al preda­tor-in-wait­ing.

This does not avoid the ini­tial claim that many men are part of a sex­ist cul­ture that gen­er­ates dis­re­spect and vi­o­lence against women. What is this cul­ture of mas­culin­i­ty that many are part of? It can be­gin with ac­tions many feel nor­mal and non-threat­en­ing. What some might see as a com­pli­ment might ac­tu­al­ly be an un­want­ed com­pli­ment.

Not all might be of­fend­ed, grant­ed, but it's not like women have choice in the mat­ter. Hol­ly Kearl, founder of Stop Street Ha­rass­ment, says: "Street ha­rass­ment is of­ten an in­vis­i­ble prob­lem or one that is por­trayed as a joke, com­pli­ment or the fault of the ha­rassed per­son. In re­al­i­ty, it's a hu­man-rights vi­o­la­tion."

Col­leagues in the work­place mak­ing sug­ges­tive com­ments–es­pe­cial­ly su­pe­ri­ors–can be classed as ha­rass­ment too. Men might deem it noth­ing, a harm­less piece of flat­tery, but again this is part of a cul­ture where men get to de­cide what be­hav­iours women should ac­cept.These be­hav­iours of­ten be­come in­ter­nalised by women and ex­pect­ed of men. This pro­duces the iron­ic sit­u­a­tion that a fe­male's at­trac­tive­ness in­volves le­git­i­ma­tion by male heck­ling or flat­tery. The male world of ob­jec­ti­fi­ca­tion be­comes the cul­tur­al norm.

An­oth­er is­sue with­in this cul­ture is that men of­ten push the re­spon­si­bil­i­ty for crimes of sex­u­al vi­o­lence on­to women. They make claims about the way a woman dress­es or claim she gave them sig­nals. Yet no is al­ways no, and ha­rass­ment is still ha­rass­ment, no mat­ter what a per­son wears. Fur­ther­more, peo­ple should al­ways have the right to change their minds and re­move con­sent at any point in an en­counter–from flat­tery to sex­u­al re­la­tions.

The sit­u­a­tion is so bad that we teach women what not to do in or­der to avoid sex­u­al vi­o­lence while ig­nor­ing that it is men who are per­pe­tra­tors of 99 per cent of sex­u­al vi­o­lence, and it is men who need ed­u­cat­ing.If we want to fix the prob­lem, it re­quires at­tack on mul­ti­ple lev­els. Re­search sug­gests the strongest en­abling fac­tor in sex­u­al vi­o­lence is the idea that such be­hav­iour is covert­ly con­doned. That is the cul­ture I'm talk­ing about here. And that is one lev­el we can at­tack.

It just takes one man in a group of men to be of­fend­ed and to make that point in front of his peers for the smoke­screen of ac­cep­tance to be ques­tioned by oth­ers.Many men might feel like they don't want to be that man be­cause they will lose cred­i­bil­i­ty with their friends. Yet los­ing that cred­i­bil­i­ty com­pared with be­ing part of a con­tin­u­um of sex­u­al vi­o­lence against women is a straight­for­ward choice all men can and should make.

�2 Dr Dy­lan Ker­ri­g­an is an an­thro­pol­o­gist at UWI, St Au­gus­tine


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