Carnival is in the air, but don’t expect that the fetes or carnival itself can ease your stress away. Some people are true believers in the saying that Carnival does, “ease my stress” but even with the best intentions, many of you believe that your emotions are so out of control, that they happen spontaneously, and you handle them in a multitude of ways. Remember, Carnival only comes around once a year and is not a permanent fix to your problems. Here are some dangerous defence mechanisms some people use to cope with stress.
Avoidance
We all want to avoid difficult or painful emotions, and as a result, we tend to avoid any situation that could lead to the emotions we fear, or worse, try not to feel any stress at all. While avoiding stressful situations may protect you in the short term, it also keeps you from feeling the very emotions, connection, energy, excitement, that we desire most.
The second defence against stress is outright denial.
When you experience stress and try to deny what you’re feeling, your emotions will simply intensify. The pressure will build and what you are trying to ignore will potentially resurface, and usually at the most inconvenient time.
Competition
The worst addiction facing people today is not drugs and it’s not alcohol, it’s problems.
Often, after moving past avoidance and denial, you decide to stop fighting your painful emotions and decide to fully indulge in them. Rather than learn what your feelings are trying to tell you, you get your fix of significance by making your problem worse than everyone else’s. It becomes a “badge of courage,” and you begin to compete with others, saying, “You think you’ve got it bad? Let me tell you how bad I’ve got it!” Do yourself a favour and get your need for significance met for doing something positive rather than for your problems.
The truth: problems are gifts. Our biggest problem is we think we shouldn’t have problems. Albert Einstein put it this way, “Crisis is the greatest blessing for people, because crisis brings on progress…He who blames his own failures and difficulties to crisis, rapes his own talent and gives more importance to problems than to solutions.” Find a way to use stress and pain to serve you.
In an article written on healthline.com, they break down how stress can negatively impact your body. Here’s how:
“Stress isn’t just unpleasant mentally and emotionally it also has the power to make your body sick. Stress weakens your immune systems, making it harder to fight off common cold viruses and other germs. Stress has also been shown to raise blood pressure by temporarily constricting blood vessels and speeding up heart rate. Coronary heart disease is also more common in those suffering from chronic stress.
“Stress can prompt emotional eating and make it harder to resist other cravings for unhealthy foods. There is little wonder, then, that stress is also connected to weight gain. However, what may be news to you is the fact that the high cortisol levels linked to stress encourage fat storage, particularly in the lower abdomen area. This, in turn, increases insulin resistance in the body, which can lead to changes in blood sugar. Other symptoms may include heartburn, IBS, diarrhea and stomach cramping. For pregnant women, severe stress may affect the fetus’ brain development and increase chances of premature labour.
“Chronic stress isn’t good for your brain, either. Stress causes tension headaches and sometimes even migraines. It reduces spatial memory, which helps you remember locations and relate objects, as well as impacts your ability to form new memories, regulate emotions and have self-control. Acute stress has been shown to cause three different kinds of hair loss as well as premature aging.”
You can learn how to effectively handle stress and make yourself a better person. One way to do this is to find activities you enjoy, such as ways to strengthen your body, find a role model or help someone in need to put your life in perspective. Feed your mind something good every day. Don’t let the weeds grow; cultivate great thoughts and sow the seeds of knowledge for tomorrow.
Strengthen your body. Fear, stagnation, rage, numbness, sadness: these are all emotional states that affect one’s physical well-being, and you need to be ready to grapple with and overcome these emotions. Science has shown us that when you participate in physical activities, you activate your body chemistry and unite your mind and body so they can work together effectively. Find a mission greater than yourself. We all benefit by aspiring to something greater, something that is more than either our pain or even our joy. Get inspired by being part of something big. Find a role model. This makes what you are hoping is possible, real for you. Are you hoping to become a successful entrepreneur? Find a role model who did that. You need to feel how real that goal is, how attainable it is and how others achieved their success while overcoming challenges.
You can also find someone who is in need and help them. There are countless ways to offer help, such as volunteering or offering your services in under-served classrooms. The process of volunteering teaches you how to put your own life into perspective and reminds you that you are connected to everyone else. Your ability to give to others and help no matter how many mistakes you’ve made or losses you’ve suffered will inspire you to try again and move on.