One difference between adults and children is supposed to be play. For children, play is, at the same time, both work and play. Adults claim they work and afterwards, “play.” In fact, the best work adults do is when they enjoy their work so much that it’s considered play.
Dom Basil Matthews, the erudite Trinidadian Benedictine monk who is best known for his debates with Dr Eric Williams in the feverish political atmosphere of the late 50s, pointed out in 1979 that Trinidadians work better in an atmosphere where work is considered “play”, eg, Carnival camps or where play is part of the “work,” the panyards.
There are parents who think I spend too much time “playing” with their children. Apparently, they believe that coming to the doctor is such serious business that no one should enjoy themselves. The child must shut up and look sick. The parents must look concerned and the doctor must look caring.
At the same time, I do think the highest commendation I have ever been given by a father was the one who, after I had exhaustively examined his son’s neurological system for over 45 minutes, and explained my findings for another 15 minutes, refused to pay me because, as he told my startled receptionist, all I had done with his child was to “play with him.”
Then there was the father, who, when he saw me playing J’Ouvert just past Green Corner, exclaimed to his wife, “You does take our chile to that!” We later became good friends.
I remember thinking, when I was a little boy going to doctors, that if I ever became a doctor, my office would be bright and alive with sunshine, toys and laughter. Doctors frightened me. They looked so gloomy. They dressed the same and never smiled. Their offices were tiny, cramped and smelled of alcohol. It shouldn’t. It should be a place where children, even sick ones, feel comfortable and able to play, if they want, not only in the waiting room but in the consulting room itself.
Play is essential for children. It does more than make a child happy. Play helps children recover from illness. It helps children develop motor and language skills and self-confidence, creativity and enquiring minds and to interact socially with other children.
Playing with a child, especially a sick child, is the only way to examine the child. At first, most children, depending on their age and whether they have bonded or not with an adult, will shy away from the doctor. They may even scream and fight, especially if they have been accustomed to doctors who are not child oriented. But as time goes by (and the shots are completed), the normal child and family soon realise the competent paediatrician is not a threat.
Seeing a doctor play with their child can be therapeutic for parents. It’s calming and there is no better way for the doctor to demonstrate that he/she is unhurried, friendly and supportive. Most parents in T&T are not accustomed to this and think the doctor is wasting their time.
By playing with the sick child, the compassionate doctor makes the child relax and behave more like a healthy child. It is remarkable how children can change from looking sick as they come into the office, to looking well within a few minutes, simply because the doctor begins to “play” with the child. Play also gives the child the opportunity to retain control of the situation, key to becoming confident and relaxed. It allows the child to begin to like the doctor, and easier for the doctor to examine the child.
On one hand, the relaxed child will allow a more formal examination. On the other hand, it is impossible to examine some areas of the body without play. The only way to examine a child’s neurological system is by playing with the child. For example, when I throw a ball for a child to catch, I am not pleasing myself. I am examining that child’s eyesight, muscle tone and coordination. I am also looking at the child’s face to see the child’s reaction: thrilled, scared, paralysed?
Play is the way the doctor learns what the child is really feeling at the moment of the examination. It is also the way they learn about the child’s normal behaviour—their likes and dislikes, their fears and pleasures, their ability to concentrate and a whole host of other factors.
Play is a serious thing for children, whether they are ill or well. It is the way a child learns to become an adult. A child who is not allowed to play never grows up. A doctor who does not play with their child patients is incompetent.
