As we con­tin­ue to adapt to the mul­ti­ple changes in our lives, we rec­og­nize that the im­pact on chil­dren and ado­les­cents has been sig­nif­i­cant. Re­cent ar­ti­cles have iden­ti­fied teens as a group of “un­sung he­roes” of these times, as they have had to rapid­ly ac­cept an abrupt end to their school year, missed mile­stones in­clud­ing grad­u­a­tions for which they are griev­ing and changes to their re­la­tion­ships with friends.

Through­out ado­les­cence, peer in­ter­ac­tions oc­cu­py a pri­ma­ry and im­por­tant role in holis­tic de­vel­op­ment. Young peo­ple re­ly on friend­ships to sup­port their emerg­ing sense of self as peers are most like­ly to un­der­stand the nu­ances of cul­ture and ex­pres­sion of their gen­er­a­tion. We all re­mem­ber how im­por­tant our friends were to us dur­ing those years. With the nec­es­sary re­stric­tions in so­cial in­ter­ac­tion, many young peo­ple con­tin­ue to be de­nied the op­por­tu­ni­ty to fre­quent­ly con­nect with their friends.

It is no sur­prise, there­fore, that many par­ents are re­port­ing pe­ri­ods of ir­ri­tabil­i­ty and sul­len­ness by their teens at home. The wide vari­a­tion in­con­sis­tent ac­cess to the in­ter­net and so­cial me­dia among peers has be­come ap­par­ent. Con­sid­er­ing that this is the pri­ma­ry means of com­mu­ni­ca­tion, the dif­fer­ences be­tween homes has left some young peo­ple lone­ly and un­sure. Sup­port­ing healthy com­mu­ni­ca­tion and so­cial net­work­ing for teens is es­sen­tial to mit­i­gat­ing any fur­ther dis­tress since they are al­ready grap­pling with so many fac­tors which are com­plete­ly out of their con­trol.

Ex­plore vir­tu­al cel­e­bra­tions

Teens may have been ea­ger­ly await­ing mile­stone birth­days, up­com­ing va­ca­tions or com­plet­ing ma­jor ex­am­i­na­tions. While we re­main grate­ful for life and health, cre­ate ways in which at home, or on­line, you can help them still cel­e­brate im­por­tant days. It is the mem­o­ry of the event that will re­main, and so make all ef­forts not to al­low these days to pass un­no­ticed.

En­dorse their ideas

While on­line con­fer­enc­ing has be­come a sta­ple for work-from-home ini­tia­tives al­low your teens to ex­press their pref­er­ences as to how they com­mu­ni­cate with friends. Par­ents should not force or de­mand their teens to use cer­tain apps but should in­stead be sup­port­ive and su­per­vis­ing as they ex­plore vir­tu­al sub­sti­tutes.

Ex­press Em­pa­thy

Par­ents may be tempt­ed to re­mind their teens that they are ”lucky to be healthy dur­ing a world­wide pan­dem­ic” and that any sad­ness or frus­tra­tion due to miss­ing their friends is triv­ial. The teen brain has lim­it­ed ca­pac­i­ty to ful­ly un­der­stand more ab­stract con­cepts, and while par­ents should cer­tain­ly re­in­force feel­ings of grat­i­tude with their teens, they should still rec­og­nize the im­pact of on­go­ing sor­row on emo­tion­al health. Iden­ti­fy­ing their emo­tions and sup­port­ing them through is much pre­ferred to us­ing them as a source of con­flict at home.

Em­brace tech­nol­o­gy

Al­though we rec­og­nize a new re­liance on tech­nol­o­gy and vir­tu­al con­nec­tiv­i­ty, the rules and mon­i­tor­ing of your fam­i­ly need to re­main in force. Par­ents need to re­main mind­ful of the plat­forms their teens are us­ing and to make sure they are be­ing safe. Cy­ber­bul­ly­ing, groom­ing and ex­po­sure to in­ap­pro­pri­ate and ex­plic­it con­tent re­main risks of the vir­tu­al world and must not be for­got­ten. In ad­di­tion, as some phys­i­cal re­stric­tions are lift­ed, par­ents should cast a vig­i­lant eye over old­er teens and young adults. En­sure that they make wise de­ci­sions and re­main safe and sen­si­ble in their ac­tiv­i­ties so that they too are pro­tect­ed from ac­ci­dents or in­jury.

En­gage in Mind­ful Prac­tice

Mind­ful­ness al­lows teenagers (and their par­ents) the op­por­tu­ni­ty to be still and rec­og­nize their emo­tions. The pan­dem­ic and as­so­ci­at­ed changes have been over­whelm­ing, and are not yet over. We can ex­pect that with the phas­es of re-open­ing, there will be even more to grap­ple with. A con­sis­tent prac­tice of mind­ful ac­tiv­i­ty sup­ports them in nav­i­gat­ing any neg­a­tive emo­tions and find­ing strate­gies to ap­proach them with­out judge­ment and with a sense of calm. Mind­ful breath­ing ac­tiv­i­ties or jour­nal­ing are of­ten ac­cept­able and en­joy­able to teenagers and can be­come in­grained habits that they take for­ward in­to their adult lives.

“Keep your words sup­port­ive and full of em­pa­thy when talk­ing to your teens. Min­i­miz­ing their dis­tress is un­help­ful, as they are man­ag­ing and griev­ing many missed or de­layed mile­stones and need their emo­tion­al bal­ance re­stored.”