Christy Ann Heer­alal

Guest Col­umn

For many peo­ple ex­pe­ri­enc­ing do­mes­tic vi­o­lence and abuse, reach­ing out for help can be one of the hard­est steps they take. But even af­ter find­ing the courage to seek sup­port, an­oth­er bar­ri­er can stand in the way: the abil­i­ty to af­ford pro­fes­sion­al coun­selling.

Through Christy Ann’s Seren­i­ty Con­sul­tan­cy, I have en­coun­tered in­di­vid­u­als who have reached out for coun­selling and emo­tion­al sup­port but, be­cause of the cir­cum­stances they are fac­ing, sim­ply can­not af­ford the ser­vice.

As a coun­selling prac­ti­tion­er, I un­der­stand how im­por­tant it is for in­di­vid­u­als ex­pe­ri­enc­ing dif­fi­cult cir­cum­stances to have some­one who will lis­ten, of­fer sup­port and pro­vide a safe, com­pas­sion­ate space with­out judge­ment.

For me, this is where pas­sion meets com­pas­sion.

When some­one reach­es out and I un­der­stand that they gen­uine­ly can­not af­ford coun­selling be­cause of the cir­cum­stances they are ex­pe­ri­enc­ing, I be­lieve there are times when com­pas­sion has to come be­fore pay­ment. Where I am able to as­sist, I have cho­sen to pro­vide sup­port rather than al­low some­one’s fi­nan­cial cir­cum­stances to be the rea­son they leave with­out help.

This is not about di­min­ish­ing the val­ue of coun­selling or sug­gest­ing that pro­fes­sion­al ser­vices should not be ap­pro­pri­ate­ly val­ued. A coun­selling prac­tice has to be main­tained and sus­tained in or­der to con­tin­ue serv­ing the com­mu­ni­ty. But there are al­so mo­ments when com­pas­sion calls us to look be­yond what is ex­pect­ed pro­fes­sion­al­ly and sim­ply help some­one who gen­uine­ly needs sup­port.

For me, pro­vid­ing sup­port in those cir­cum­stances is a self­less act of com­pas­sion—an op­por­tu­ni­ty to give when I am able, with­out ex­pect­ing any­thing in re­turn.

Their sto­ries are theirs to share

The in­di­vid­u­als who reach out for sup­port have their own sto­ries, ex­pe­ri­ences and per­son­al cir­cum­stances. Out of re­spect for con­fi­den­tial­i­ty, I can­not pub­licly share their names, per­son­al in­for­ma­tion or iden­ti­fy­ing de­tails.

Their sto­ries are theirs to share, not mine.

What I can say is that, be­hind the scenes, there are in­di­vid­u­als reach­ing out, seek­ing sup­port and try­ing to find a way for­ward. They are not alone.

Some may be deal­ing with fear, emo­tion­al pain, un­cer­tain­ty, loss of con­fi­dence or the dif­fi­cult process of re­build­ing their lives. Some­times, hav­ing some­one will­ing to lis­ten can be an im­por­tant first step.

A safe space for every­one

While much of the con­ver­sa­tion around do­mes­tic vi­o­lence un­der­stand­ably fo­cus­es on women, men can al­so ex­pe­ri­ence abuse, emo­tion­al dis­tress and dif­fi­cult cir­cum­stances.

Some men may hes­i­tate to reach out for coun­selling be­cause they are con­cerned about be­ing judged, mis­un­der­stood or per­ceived as weak.

I am grate­ful to be able to cre­ate a space where in­di­vid­u­als can speak open­ly about what they are ex­pe­ri­enc­ing with­out fear of judge­ment.

Whether some­one is a woman or a man, ask­ing for sup­port does not di­min­ish their strength. Some­times, hav­ing a safe place to speak is ex­act­ly what a per­son needs to be­gin mov­ing for­ward.

From coun­selling to com­mu­ni­ty

The work of Christy Ann’s Seren­i­ty Con­sul­tan­cy ex­tends be­yond the coun­selling room.

Through our Com­pas­sion­ate Sup­port Cir­cle (CSC), we are de­vel­op­ing a com­mu­ni­ty ini­tia­tive root­ed in the be­lief that well­ness is not on­ly about emo­tion­al sup­port. It is al­so about com­pas­sion, dig­ni­ty, com­mu­ni­ty and prac­ti­cal sup­port.

The vi­sion in­cludes men­tal well­ness and coun­selling sup­port, as­sis­tance for in­di­vid­u­als and fam­i­lies in need, cloth­ing and care ini­tia­tives, com­mu­ni­ty out­reach, em­pow­er­ment and acts of ser­vice.

We are start­ing small, but the vi­sion is to grow CSC in­to a sus­tain­able com­mu­ni­ty-sup­port ini­tia­tive where com­pas­sion be­comes ac­tion through­out Trinidad and To­ba­go.

Be­cause some­times a per­son needs more than words.

Some­times they need a help­ing hand.

Some­times they need some­one to care.

And some­times, they sim­ply need to know that they are not alone.

A com­mu­ni­ty ef­fort

As we ob­serve Do­mes­tic Vi­o­lence Aware­ness Month, my hope is to con­tribute to greater aware­ness of the emo­tion­al im­pact of abuse and the im­por­tance of ap­pro­pri­ate sup­port for those af­fect­ed.

I al­so recog­nise that this work can­not be sus­tained by one per­son alone. For those who be­lieve in the vi­sion of com­pas­sion­ate com­mu­ni­ty sup­port, their sup­port is wel­come.

It is the col­lec­tive ef­fort of a com­mu­ni­ty that can help turn com­pas­sion in­to ac­tion.

The goal is not sim­ply to pro­vide as­sis­tance in a mo­ment of cri­sis. It is to help cre­ate a cul­ture where peo­ple feel seen, heard and sup­port­ed, and are re­mind­ed that they mat­ter.

Most im­por­tant­ly, any­one ex­pe­ri­enc­ing do­mes­tic vi­o­lence or abuse should know that ask­ing for help is not a sign of weak­ness.

You de­serve to be heard.

You de­serve to be sup­port­ed.

And you de­serve the op­por­tu­ni­ty to move to­wards heal­ing, hope and a health­i­er fu­ture.