Barna states that teenagers are bombarded by a number of factors which produce new definitions, including the definition of the term parent which now means somebody who cares and may not include father and mother. The extended family could mean the gang, the drug-dealing or gambling block.
This resonates with the loss of trust, the suspicion of adults and the rejection of authority figures. The teenager grows into the world where there are serious trust issues. The family unit is breaking down and hypocrisy is increasing. Adults preach about standards but send double signals.
Kevin Leman makes very profound statements about parenting that could help solve the parent-teen dilemma. He states that they are looking at us twice as much as they are listening. What does that mean? It means that values are more caught than taught. The world of a teenager can be a turbulent world. Why? Hi-tech revolution: The record-breaking pace of hi-tech revolutions bombarding them. From cable TV to the Internet. It is MySpace, FaceBook, Twitter, You-Tube etc. Then there are the op- tionals. You have the gospel DVDs and the porn, the blue DVDs. You can have a daily diet of Movado and Vybz Cartel who is shaping a god after his own image and likeness spawning the Gaza/Gully Gang sub-culture or counterculture.
The identity crisis: The fast, flashy, frivolous peer pressure that is capitalising on the search for independence and the quest for identity precipitates this phase of his development
Q.: Who am I? Many experts regard this period as the transition from childhood to adulthood. Who am I supposed to be? What should I believe? Who should be my hero? Who is influencing or should be influencing my destiny? The decision dilemma: This is the era when choices emerge as maturity gains momentum. There is talk about hormones, about secondary and primary sexual characteristics, about relationship issues and careers.
Speed: The teenager hears about the lost generation, the action-packed generation, the endangered generation. But alas, they are influenced by the term speed. On the video games, they can kill someone and then resurrect them within a few seconds. They are being classically conditioned to adopt a value shift, without critical awareness. Speed is attractive. This has led to the steroid crisis. 100-metres specialists have tested positive for drugs. Marion Jones has moved from stellar athlete to prisoner. Weight-lifters building body mass, winning championships and then disgraced if they are caught.
Role model crash: Think about legendary golfing star Tiger Woods. It started with a crash one night, and then shocking revelations about betraying his wife via several romantic encounters with glamourous, all-inclusive girls. His high performance deteriorated as golf gave way to an unfaithful wolf. Dependency switch: There is a clear movement from "adult control" to "peer control." This is a significant phase in the development of the teenager. He cannot appear to be mother's boy, he has to identify with the gang. He cannot appear to be lacking in adventure, risk-taking and deviant be- haviour. He wishes to be admired by the group. His development as indicated by his urges suggest to him that he is becoming a man and therefore he can make decisions that may or may not be approved by his parents.
However, here comes the crisis. He is not really independent but experiencing the dependency exchange. Nature abhors a vacuum and therefore a shift from parents involves a shift to the group-his peers, the gang. Sometimes, when the missing-father-syndrome is a reality, there is that thirst for the father figure. Consequently, people like the gang leader in the community is on a more strategic recruitment drive than those in authority. Religion and the isms: The teenager is growing up in the world that is shaped by an aggressive, militant, brutal interpretation of religion as well as a pros- perity-pushed Christian gospel. He is saturated with terms such as terrorism, fundamentalism, extremism, evangelism.
He hears about bin Laden in conflicting ways. He sees people worshipping him as a hero, while western civilisation condemns him as a religious assassin, a virtual beast in human form. Then he hears about the New Age Movement that places him on a deity throne. "We were gods before, we are gods now and we shall continue to be gods." However, throughout the maze of so many voices, he is disappointed when religious leaders are accused of immoral conduct. As he peers through the psychological telescope he is confused and wonders if religion makes sense, as role models tumble regularly.
Mission: He keeps asking the question: Should he sacrifice his parents' ideals on the altar of the reckless and godless? Then he thinks of a career, because there are those who are motivating him to become somebody great, to ignore the distraction. Sad to say, the negative voices are louder and more aggressive, even more consistent. The third parent is more penetrative than the real parents. But there are the softer, smaller voices that indicate to him that he must move from the ordinary to the extraordinary, that he must aim to become a role model even before he becomes an adult.
As he listens to motivational lectures from parents, psychologists and pastors, he wonders if he was really destined to become somebody great. He appears to have a fluctuating self-esteem, one minute it is low and another minute it is high. If he believes that he is valuable then he will craft a future, with the help of responsible adults and those who really care about him and not just appear to care. The occultmania: This is the generation that has witnessed and feels the impact of Harry Potter, the invasion of Halloween, a romantic affair with the mystic on TV, radio etc, and a current event called the Electronic Voice Phenomenon. This was highlighted in the movie White Noise.
In this movie, dead mother communicates with living father and son via the cell phone. This may be sarcastic as well as humorous, even ghosts are painted as being vulnerable to the hi-tech addiction. Amazingly, on the Web site, there is a message that contradicts Biblical theology-"the line between the living and the dead has been crossed." After looking at the splurge of conflicting ideas and messages bombarding the teenager, combined with his quest to develop coping mechanisms so he can experience emotional and psychological relief, we must confess that the "development road" will not be easy. As important as muscular development is in addition to co-ordinating skills, he will be in the hunt to develop social skills so he can expand his relational base. Therefore, the socialisation agencies must kick in and kick in quickly. That is where the home, the church and the school influence impacts and helps the teenagers to internalise a vast array of rich, spiritual values.