If there's one thing I'm qualified to do in life, it's write about the first-day school jitters that every parent experiences. Forget the children's angst. I'm talking about that kicked-in-the-gut, heart-pounding headache that you get when your child goes back to school. Yes, there's the sigh of relief that precedes the worries when you realise you don't have to feed or entertain the little demons again. But that fleeting moment of peace gives way to a succession of horrible feelings that lead to a litany of woes and a string of questions: How will my children get through the school year? Where will I find all the money I need for extra lessons? Why do I have to find extra lessons? Why isn't the school day enough for my children to learn everything they have to learn? How do I find a good lessons teacher?
Your children will get through the year, and extra lessons, as unfair as they might seem to be, are built into the culture of learning in this country. Accept that and find a good teacher-one who conducts an extra lessons class and not a lime. As for paying for those lessons, all I can say is I remember that struggle too. Now we're on to bigger and better things, namely how you're going to survive the school year. I remember all those years of arguing with one child to do homework and arguing with the other child to stop doing homework. I had both extremes.
Looking back on those experiences, I would say these are the best pointers I can give:
1. Make time for everyone to relax. Make sure that you and your children-and I'm talking about children from four to 18 (and even older)-have some fun-filled activities built into their daily routine. This means sports and exercise. You can't afford to think that exercise is a frivolous activity and that you and your children have no time for exercise. Exercise helps us to cope better and think better. It helps us to be happier and healthier. It is a must in all of our lives. I always figure that I get back at least three hours for every hour of exercise I put into my life.
2. Set a routine. Eating, studying, exercising and winding down for the night must be a scheduled routine. If they aren't, there's too much room for procrastination. Too much time gets wasted. Set a routine and stick to it.
3. Come up with rules. Set firm rules and have a zero-tolerance factor. The first rule of thumb is to eliminate distractions. No cell phones and computer time and Facebook and text messages until after homework is completed. Children are master manipulators and they'll come up with excuses. Don't buy them. Don't budge. The rules are the rules. End of story.
4. Make children earn their pleasure. In this day and age everything is too easy. Children need to earn extra TV time or liming time on the weekend by completing their homework on time.
5. Help your children organise their lives. Sit down with them and come up with a study schedule that includes ongoing revision time as well as homework time. Children shouldn't be doing last-minute cramming for exams. They shouldn't be panicking at the last minute. Organisational skills are the key to success in school and in life, so this is one of the most important lessons for children to learn.
6. Stress good nutrition. Cut out the sugar and fat. Include lots of fresh fruit and vegetables, lean meat. Good, healthy eating helps children to avoid headaches and fatigue. It keeps them from getting sick and helps them to study longer and better. Make sure they drink lots of water while they're studying. There are many studies that show how much water the brain needs while studying.
7. Have a dedicated place to study. Have your child choose a quiet place to study. Make it a place where the basic essentials-pens, notebooks, pencils, erasers, scissors and markers-are all ready for studying. This helps to avoid procrastination. No cell phones or computers should be in this zone. There should be good lighting and good ventilation. A fan or air-conditioning is essential. It should also be a place where you can keep an eye on things.
8. Make sure your home is quiet and conducive for studying. Your children's study time should be a time when no one calls your home. Tell your own friends not to call during this time period. You should not have the TV on for your shows while your child is studying. Tape them and watch them on the weekend.
9. Build half an hour of reading time into children's schedule every night, and make sure you read then too. It's a must. Children will be able to complete their homework better, read faster and process information faster if they read every day. It's a must for succeeding in school so don't say there's no time for it.
Good luck and welcome to the new school year.