Kei­th An­der­son

I am wor­ried about Jack Warn­er's health and the fact that he is go­ing non-stop. With Jack there is no sleep, no slow­ing down...on­ly ac­tion, ac­tion and more ac­tion. I am afraid he might pass on (God for­bid) and Trinidad and To­ba­go will lose its last ac­tion hero. I hear af­ter Jack, there is no one to take up the man­tle. That's it. Jack is an ex­tra­or­di­nary char­ac­ter. And in the words of his bi­og­ra­phy, he has gone from ze­ro to hero. It is as if he tra­vers­es be­tween these two points reg­u­lar­ly in Trinidad and To­ba­go. There are some who hate him; and those who love him. They say he is more pop­u­lar than hops and ham, and his boss Kam­la. Chil­dren call him Un­cle Jack al­though he is no rel­a­tive of theirs, not even pump­kin vine. Jack was put in a po­lit­i­cal box by col­leagues in the Peo­ple's Part­ner­ship, but like Har­ry Hou­di­ni he es­caped, com­ing back stronger.

Jack has been called the most nick­names in this coun­try, and it is as if wa­ter is thrown on a duck's back. I hear his skin is as thick as an al­li­ga­tor's, and his head hard­er than life in Trin­ba­go.

With his new ap­point­ment as Min­is­ter of Na­tion­al Se­cu­ri­ty, he has been called Sher­rif Lobo, In­spec­tor Clouse­au (of Pink Pan­ther fame), Ac­tion Jack among oth­er names, but that doesn't both­er him. So to­day, I am rechris­ten­ing him Su­per Jack, the Last Ac­tion Hero. Con­grat­u­la­tions Trinidad and To­ba­go, at long last we have our own su­per hero. Holy Cow! Jump­ing Cat­fish! Move over Su­per­man, Bat­man, Spi­der­man, X-Men, mem­bers of Jus­tice League and Cap­tain Amer­i­ca. Get Lost! Hel­lo world, here comes Su­per Jack. Pret­ty soon we'll have our own com­ic books, movies, video games, and mer­chan­dis­ing with the Su­per Jack im­age. I am not wor­ried if the oil and gas run out, we have Su­per Jack. Al­ready, Jack is mak­ing in­ter­na­tion­al head­lines over Wayne Kublals­ingh and the Re- Route Move­ment. But Jack is not new to head­lines, he made a lot re­cent­ly as a Fi­fa jefe, and took his grand­ma's ad­vice to take in front be­fore front take you con­cern­ing bribery al­le­ga­tions.

Jack promised a tsuna­mi, but has so far blown a gen­tle breeze in the Fi­fa hur­ri­cane. Holy Moses! I won't go over Jack's bi­og­ra­phy, it is well known in Trinidad and To­ba­go, but sto­ries about the man are leg­end. There is this one I heard about Jack as a Spe­cial Re­serve Po­lice­man (SRP). The on­ly thing he locked one night was the po­lice sta­tion. For this one I could get lock up, be­cause they say po­lice and sol­diers tak­ing or­ders from Jack. They might come knock­ing on my door look­ing for my source (sauce), tak­ing me, my com­put­er and a pot of chick­en foot down. I fraid too bad. At my age I can't make a jail. I did fraid Karl, now I fraid Jack. When I hear Jack's name, I trem­ble like a leaf. When I see him on TV, I go un­der the bed and hide. There is talk that Jack over­threw the Con­sti­tu­tion with­out a sin­gle gun­shot, and up to now he hasn't been ar­rest­ed by Com­man­der in Chief, Pres­i­dent Max Richards, the Chief of De­fence Staff, or the Com­mis­sion­er of Po­lice, the OAS or NA­TO. They say Jack used a back­hoe and a bull­doz­er in a blood­less coup. This is a first in world rev­o­lu­tions. Lawyers, too, have added to the le­gal con­fu­sion-some say Jack right, oth­ers say Jack wrong. Kam­la has noth­ing to say. This place mad, yes. You see me, I gone.