I had plans to write about a study by medical experts which revealed that wearing tight jeans, or pants may lead to twisted testicles and other painful health problems. With austerity measures looming and everyone in an economic tightpants, I almost hit the roof when I read that a consultant recommended a pay increase for Members of Parliament (MPs) at a workshop in Tobago, titled "Strengthening Parliamentary Practices in Trinidad and Tobago." One time, ideas hit me on how parliamentary practices could be strengthened without a pay increase. Now, remember, parliamentarians offer themselves to serve and it is not like somebody called them. As my grandma would say, they came for themselves. So who want to say a pay increase on par with the private sector will attract the best talent, I cool with that. While some may view it as an opportunity to fix their business, service to their fellowman should be the key. With the economic bug biting hard and workers wearing a five per cent salary cap, while some are wearing a nine per cent headwear, under the former finance minister who wore a stingy-brim hat, a salary increase for MPs is not advisable at this time. It would send the union leaders crazy. And rumour has it that some are half-mad. Is not me who say so, is town say so.
However, I think MPs should only get a pay increase when they start to deliver great representation and be seen in their constituencies, and not on TV or at election time. Firstly, their behaviour in Parliament must improve. Kicksing, crosstalk and crass talk must be outlawed, even on the parliamentary channel, which I like to watch for entertainment. Parliamentary privilege must not be used as a cover to attack the character of people, or cast aspersions and make outlandish statements. I am counting on Speaker Wade Mark to put his foot down in the next session of the Parliament. Now Mark should know about "bussing a mark" and making outlandish statements, because he made quite a few as a senator. Members of Parliament must make sense with well-prepared and researched speeches, minus green verbs, which must not be delivered in a rambling style as if to induce sleep. They should suffer an immediate pay cut or be suspended under new Standing Orders. MPs must not thump the desks in a rumshop style as if to damage the furniture. These are just a few areas MPs could improve upon, after which they face an individual appraisal before a pay increase. There is no doubt parliamentary debates have declined since the days of Eric Williams and Lionel Seukeran, known as "Silver Tongue." These men went toe-to-toe verbally (or is it mouth to mouth) as the best man remained standing. I cannot identify a great debater in today's Parliament. How sad. You see me, I gone.
