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MaDIBa, Gandhi, Gossip in heaven

Sunday, December 15, 2013

Oh, how I wish Madiba, that great, great soul, could have witnessed his own memorial service. I’d like to think of Nelson Rolihlahla Mandela and Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi having a rip-roaring time in heaven. It might go like this: 



(Start of skit)

Mandela: They say I like to bring people together. I do. The best was how that brilliant boy Obama got himself in a pickle with what they call a “selfie” with that young blonde leader, Denmark’s Helle Thorning Schmid. In seconds the world knew about it. You know, I think women like Obama a bit too much. Gandhi: But yes, Obama’s wife must have a spine of steel to put up with the adulation he gets from women. Obama was practically leaning into the blonde. Michelle didn’t look amused. 


You know I struggled with my love for women in my lifetime. Unlike Obama I was not blessed with a fantastic physique made for those painted-on suits high-flyer women like these days. You know, once I started wearing a loincloth, my days of a debonair professional were over. I had no time for fittings of suits.


Mandela:  I respect you, Gandhi, but I don’t think even in a suit you had the features to make women swoon like my young protégé Obama. Another woman wearing a spectacular copper and gold traditional outfit with a high headdress caught my eye because she was not African. Gandhi: Yes, I saw her. She is Kamla Persad-Bissessar, of East Indian descent, from a West Indian twin-island state.


Mandela:  Well, Bapu, I didn’t think I was seeing right this far from earth. She looked good. I feel honoured, but I got the feeling that once she got there, she felt a little out of place. I like to see people’s authentic selves, and I worried that she might have wasted precious moments of bilateral bonding with world leaders explaining who she represented.


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