BC Pires

Most days, with the ex­cep­tion of on­ly birth- and pay­days, I'm fair­ly con­tent be­ing my­self (and even the birth­days com­pen­sate for be­ing a whole year clos­er to my fu­ture ab­sence with presents). Every now and then, though, some­body does some­thing I no­tice, and I won­der if I'd be hap­pi­er (or at least less mis­er­able) be­ing him or her. (I'm hap­py to be fe­male, once I don't have to fake an at­trac­tion to males, and once I don't have to be a Mus­lim woman, apart from Malala Yousafzai). Here is the list I con­sid­ered this week:

Kam­la Per­sad-Bisses­sar

Ad­van­tages:

�2 Can avoid every pro­fes­sion­al and per­son­al oblig­a­tion, from re­sign­ing over Sec­tion 34 to pro­tect­ing own sis­ter from be­ing viewed as a lo­cho jet­set­ter, and still wag her fin­ger at every­one else for not liv­ing up to theirs

�2 As­sured of a damned fine salary un­til death, no mat­ter how bad or good a job she's done as PM

�2 Has lost her par­ty three elec­tions in a row, but hasn't faced a UNC lead­er­ship elec­tion

�2 Al­most cer­tain to have a com­fort­able re­tire­ment very soon

Dis­ad­van­tages:

�2 Has to face the im­mi­nent Jack-Lash

�2 Can at this stage do noth­ing right in the eyes of the neemakaram elec­torate/Cab­i­net/par­ty fi­nanciers

�2 Bound to feel crushed when fair-weath­er friends desert her the mo­ment she los­es in­flu­ence (but this does segue in­to the ad­van­tage of find­ing out who your re­al friends are)

Lou Reed

Ad­van­tages:

�2 Changed the pop mu­sic of his time

�2 Made talk-singing a style for rock 'n' roll, like John­ny Cash for C&W

�2 Wrote Walk on the Wild Side, most au­da­cious Top Ten song ever, and Sweet Jane, per­haps best gui­tar riff

�2 Wasn't the ugli­est Vel­vet Un­der­grounder, as long as man­ag­er Andy Warhol lived

�2 Lived to 71, far longer than his ex­ces­sive youth should have per­mit­ted

Dis­ad­van­tages:

�2 Died at 71, far younger than his mid­dle-aged mod­er­a­tion might have al­lowed

�2 Not be­ing the ugli­est Vel­vet Un­der­grounder didn't make him pret­ty

�2 Set­tled down with a trans­ves­tite, in­stant­ly turn­ing Walk on the Wild Side in­to Stroll in­to Bor­ing Mar­riage

http://www.guardian.co.tt/dig­i­tal/new-mem­bers

for your Free Tri­al of the Dig­i­tal Guardian.

No pay­ment de­tails re­quired, for your Free Tri­al.