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Putin’s Court (with Judge BC)

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Published: 
Friday, March 21, 2014

Just like his Russian-Rasta forerunner, Ras Putin, our time’s own Vladi Putin has been putting the Ukraine (and the world) under heavy manners. Faster than most people could drive from Kursk to Kiev, Vladimir Put-That-In-My-Bag has simply swallowed the Crimea on behalf of his Mother Russia/Brother Gangsters. 

 

On Tuesday, two days after Sunday’s secession referendum, the most plainly militarily controlled make-as-eef-voter exercise since Comrade President Forbes Burnham had ballot boxes from Indian villages just tossed from the army planes collecting them into the Demerara on the way back to Georgetown, the old Lord Putin-a-hand formally put his hand to paper and, by the time the ink was dry, the Crimea was Russian.

All over what will soon be known, “the Putinland,” liberated ex-Ukrainian citizens were jumping up in the streets and knocking back schnapps while knocking down what little Ukrainian military defences were left in the Putinea (capital city, Sevasta-Putin-ol). Russia and Putin were delighted with themselves—but the rest of the world, particularly what remains, at least for now, the Ukraine, wasn’t catching the same glad.

 

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