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I’d rather eat cake!

Published: 
Monday, March 31, 2014

“So what do you think of my new diet plan?’’ asked my friend Emme. You know the one—the glamazon who lets the rest of us live in her world.

 

“I have other things on my mind,” I muttered, just remembering I was supposed to stop in duty-free and pick up that Salvatore Ferragamo perfume she had been dropping hints about.

 

“Twenty peanuts a day or 12 walnut halves and I’ll be in skinny jeans again,” she exclaimed.

 

Emme is no bigger than a toothpick that swallowed a tiny marble but it makes her happy to have a project. This month, it is her waistline. Next month, it will be mine.

 

“I thought nuts were high in fat,” I murmured, as if I were interested.

 

“Yes but it is good fat and the nuts are part of an amazingly healthy and balanced programme,” she rattled on. “Nuts help trim the waistline.”

 

“Uh huh, what else?” I was still pretending to listen. After a week of visiting foreign, I was catching up with the headlines. Turned my back for five minutes and people in high places got fired and the winning $7 million Lotto ticket disappeared from my pocket and ended up in some stranger’s clutches. The universe was seriously messing with me.