Subsequent to the Guardian's reportage of the PNM's acquisition of leaked e-mails, I was sent a CD with conversations between two men, with dates, and no explanation.In the finest tradition of T&T journalism, I made no attempt to ascertain the veracity but I reproduce them here verbatim, after listening to the CD and destroying it.
December 1995
Project Manager: Ohhh Gorrrddd...How Robbie do we dat? Why you didn't see this? You suppose to be the strategy master!
Strategy Master: Now, Project Manager, it was inevitable. Shifting demographics, migration, intermarriage, education. And Robbie hates us more than he hates them.
PM: Demographics my buttocks. So what to do now?
SM: PM, PM, calm down. We can use the Southern Strategy.
PM: Wha' you mean? March up from Sout? In dat hot sun? I lookin' like Butler to you?
SM: No, you moron. Nixon, US Republicans...Willie Horton, you know?
PM: Horton? He wasn't that feller with the 280C who used to transport girls for O'Hall...
SM: No, you imbecile...God...(loud sigh). Here's what you do. Tell our people in the media to start needling them. Small things. Show pictures of them drinking rum. Start using words like doubles and roti and chutney in headlines. Then start rumours about how they can't be trusted. Say they racial.
PM: Doubles and roti? You hungry or what? Go and get some food and come back and talk serious talk, nuh. And who going to believe anything 'bout racialism? Look who they join up with.
SM: It doesn't have to be true, you ass. They're insecure, you know. Still sensitive about being peasants and canefield corbeaux. Needle them and they'll get vex and start a fight with the media. Then we say they don't understand 'bout democracy and press freedom.
PM: Me ent know, nuh. Who we have in the media these days?
SM: We have the master chef.
PM: Chef? Doubles? Roti? You eat today?
SM: No, PM. He is a master chef because he could take anything and cook it up and make it look like the real thing.
PM: (Sighs) Arright. Nothing to lose at this point.
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