You are here

Give me a perfect world

Monday, July 21, 2014

You would think if they could put a man on the moon, they could cure the stupid common cold. 


If they could make a fridge spit out cute little oblong ice cubes, why can’t they get rid of the invisible jackbooted terrorists stomping inside my head? 


If they could make dolls talk, cars zoom, and microwave ovens zap food from frozen to steaming hot in seconds, why, oh why, can’t they make a cold medicine that actually works and does not make me look like a drunk homeless fish? 


Seriously, if a leprechaun dropped a bag of gold on my front yard, I would not be able to get up to collect it. 


This is not the “taking a sickie’’ kind of cold. I like work. Actually. I get there early and leave late. I I like making things happen, solving problems, impressing people with my own amazing efficiency. Just last week I stuck my hand in a paper shredder to remove mangled sheets of sensitive documents which had become stuck in the teeth of the monster. I expect to receive the Employee of the Month award for that heroic effort. 


User comments posted on this website are the sole views and opinions of the comment writer and are not representative of Guardian Media Limited or its staff.

Guardian Media Limited accepts no liability and will not be held accountable for user comments.

Guardian Media Limited reserves the right to remove, to edit or to censor any comments.

Any content which is considered unsuitable, unlawful or offensive, includes personal details, advertises or promotes products, services or websites or repeats previous comments will be removed.

Before posting, please refer to the Community Standards, Terms and conditions and Privacy Policy

User profiles registered through fake social media accounts may be deleted without notice.