Kevin Baldeosingh
I recently discovered that UWI's Institute for Gender and Development Studies provides a haven for mentally-disturbed women, and I think the IGDS should be commended for this.
As everyone knows, feminist scholars are experts in everything, and I am sure that their therapeutic approach doesn't involve drugs or any other inventions of the patriarchy.Instead, they probably help brain-damaged women through chanting, organic ochro and, in difficult cases, manure massage.
It was the Caribbean's third leading feminist scholar Dr Gabrielle Hosein who showed me this programme existed when she proudly called my attention to a 4,000-plus word response to a 850-word column I'd written some weeks ago headlined "Man Bashing Feminists."
Curiously, after having expended all that effort, the anonymous letter-writer or writers did not send their missive to me.At first I thought this was just cowardice but then I realised that no real feminist uses mail, obviously.
I must confess that, in 25 years of writing opinion columns, I have never gotten any response quite so bilious, vituperative, and meandering: and bear in mind that I am a writer who regularly mocks religious fanatics, political hacks, and chartered accountants.
So it was clear that the Institute was doing excellent work in freeing its members of patriarchal standards of mouthwash.The fact is, there has recently been a growing critique of feminist theory and policy measures, but nearly all the critics have been using unfair tactics such as statistics and history and science.
However, feminist academics (not activists, who usually work for a living) have created their own techniques to rebut these attacks and, today, I am providing a short guide for anyone interested in joining this battle.
And I must thank the IGDS students and staff for providing the materials on which this article is based:
ATTACK: "Many feminist claims concerning the alleged oppression of women by men at various times and places are unfounded." The Privileged Sex, by Martin Van Creveld.
DEFENCE: Mr Creveld pretends to be a historian, yet makes such absurd claims. Clearly, he is an acrimonious petty tyrant with a small penis.
ATTACK: "The 23-cent gender pay gap is simply the difference between the average earnings of all men and women working full-time...When mainstream economists consider the wage gap, they find that pay disparities are almost entirely the result of women's different life preferences" –The War Against Boys, by Christina Hoff Sommers
DEFENCE: We have been unable to find the source of Ms Sommer's statistics, so they do not exist. Judging from her author photo, Ms Sommers is clearly subservient to the standards of the patriarchy, with her brushed hair and lipstick. This is why she is dedicated to ensuring that women are not paid the same as men, except probably prostitutes.
ATTACK: "Fathers spend 54.2 hours per week working, counting paid and unpaid work. Mothers spend 52.7 hours per week in paid and unpaid work"–Do Fathers Matter? By Paul Raeburn
DEFENCE: We have not found any source for Mr Raeburn's statistics, so they do not exist. And, while we are not here to take personal shots at him, he is clearly a feckless man with a bruised ego who has a small penis.
ATTACK: "Men had fewer prejudices against female leaders rising in 'male' industries than women did. Women were much more likely than men to discriminate against female leaders. As with same-sex mentoring, gender bias was more likely to come from other women" –The Sexual Paradox, by Susan Pinker.
DEFENCE: Our research has revealed that Ms Pinker is the sister of evolutionary psychologist Steven Pinker, who argues that human beings, including women, are better off now than at any time in history. Nuff said!
ATTACK: "Feminism has been just as conformist and stifling of creative thought as the most right-wing religious groups" –Professing Feminism, by Daphne Patai and Noretta Koertge.
DEFENCE: It is pathetic when women betray their sisters so they can eat crumbs from the dining table of patriarchy.
ATTACK: "Feminism even exploits the traditional prejudice of women's gendered entitlement to special protection when it seeks to invalidate all criticism of itself by claiming that any criticism of feminism is actually 'an attack upon women'"–Feminism is Sexism, by JP Tate.
DEFENCE: We will not descend to ad hominem attacks like Mr Tate, but clearly he is trying to cope with pain, mental grievances, hurt, fear, and insecurities (of which there appear to be many). No doubt he has a small penis.
�2 Kevin Baldeosingh is a professional writer, author of three novels, and co-author of a Caribbean history textbook.