It is a yearly ritual rooted more in old talk than actual practice. How many of us really put down on paper a list of New Year's resolutions with the intention of adhering to them? Sure we all mumble about the staples when asked in the office, "mumble, mumble eat less, exercise more, lose weight..." The fact that we often start with a target masquerading as one of the more achievable of goals to choose from, lays bare our true commitment to change in the New Year. Your fat a-- (and mine) will be making that very same resolution with a greasy grin and turkey leg in a barbarian's grip at the lunch table next year. Let's face it, change is a disruptive force in our lives; it is much more onerous to improve at something but it is certainly easier to get worse at it so that is usually the default setting. Consider, if you will, the construct of the typical resolution.
I fully intend to quit smoking but before I commit myself to this objective of health and well being I am going to get it out of my system and smoke as much as I want (as much as I need to) before the deadline. That is akin to surrendering yourself to Jesus and shining your hard shoes for church... but first let me take one last frothy romp through every hawk-and- spit and whore house in the country before I gather callouses on my knees and thumb through my rosary beads. Most smokers start off with the best of intentions, then two weeks in and you realise that you picked the wrong week to quit smoking because your boss is acting like a real "collymorgous," the wife and kids swinging gaily from your last nerve and you are fixin' to go into b-mobile with the intention of convincing them that, notwithstanding the size, you are perfectly capable of lodging your malfunctioning Blackberry in the manager's sigmoid colon.
Yes, you little agents of death! We will continue this terminal tango, shrouded in a fog so thick only the glow of our cigarette embers can pierce this cloak of smoke! Carnival is coming up so you will be going to parties and that means that you will be drinking and if you are drinking you will be smoking. Why not just reset the clock? You have waited to quit for 10 years, what is a couple of months (other than a much needed break for your sooty lungs)? Before you know it, it's March and well, you might as well just quit in 2012 because the year done arreddy, right!?
Furthermore, why deprive myself of this little sin when the Mayan calendar says we will all be dead in 2012 right? It is all win win! If the Mayans were off in their calculation, it means that we have all escaped doom and you get to follow through with your commitment to give up cigarettes. That kind of rationalisation could only come from the mind of a smoker, trust me. This is also the time of year when we start to think of places like Chancellor Hill, the Queen's Park Savannah (or less favourably, the gym). Even as you wear that stupid glitter-encrusted hat and the cardboard "2011" glasses in the overpriced New Year's fete, images swirl in your head of walking briskly up Chancellor Hill astride many others determined to shrink their girth. It is really only a justification for the 20 scotch and coconut water you are about to cuff down. You can bet that the coconut water is going to run out by 11 pm but it does not matter! You will drink scotch and sorrel knowing that just on the horizon a healthier, fitter you looms.
Of course by the time you reach the first bend on Chancellor Hill, you start wheezing like a choking cat and your knees begin to out-wobble your belly. Perhaps it is best to make a modest start, no need to scuttle the effort by having your expectations recklessly exceed actual capabilities. So to the Savannah we go! Everyone does it, even little old ladies walk with such a frenzied pace they could spark a friction fire in their flammable track pants. But wait, there have been studies suggesting that you do yourself more harm than good, what with all of the carbon monoxide that you are inhaling on that circuit. Added to that, parking is a real nightmare so perhaps I will go later when there are fewer cars and more spots available...yeah that's it!
No wait...then I will be taking a chance with bandit waiting in the darkened recesses of the Savannah. Perhaps I should just start off by exercising portion control and eating healthier food. Problem is last time I checked there is no franchise called Kentucky salads and soups. Fried chicken joints and the ubiquitous hole-in-the-wall Chinese counters tend to jump out in front of your car like a crazed vagrant as you make your way home. A rough scan of the number of Chinese restaurants in this country would suggest that there is one for every Chinese worker employed by Udecott. This country needs a "one Chinese restaurant" policy per constituency.
If you cannot conquer these simple knolls, there is little hope then of mounting any serious expedition to loftier perches like punctuality, productivity, incorruptibility, initiative and so on. So what then is the answer? If you are looking to me then you buss already. I am as flawed as the rest of you. Perhaps my only edge is an acknowledgement that I am an imperfect creature and I willingly yield to any positive influence that might present itself .
A good place to start though is with a plan, cold turkey never works. Plot in your mind and on paper what you would like to accomplish and give yourself a timeline by which you would like to see realisation. You must also recognise the consequences for your failure to honour your own timelines; lack of advancement, feelings of guilt, persistent fatness and so on. I think that you are able to read from what I have said here that I too am a victim of personal indiscipline, something that I rail against every day. I ain't no Dee-pak Chopra, but what I am selling is a lot cheaper. The answer is inside of us all. Of course if you feel compelled to base you entire life plan on the weekly drawing of the Lotto then on your bike! Mind you, even if you do win, you will be the same flawed person that you were before and this money will have little value. In such a case it would be best to relinquish such riches to the more deserving in society (my e-mail address can be found above).
Seriously though, the challenges we face in 2011 are quite intimidating; they go far beyond the People's Partnership, or the pnm. It is my sincere hope that all of us resolve to face these realities with the discipline necessary to change our script.