Head spinning. Eyes bleary. Bones aching to marrow. Feel like been bludgeoned semi-conscious. Must be how Anil Roberts and Vernon De Lima felt Sunday night, after Prakash Ramadhar licked them up in election for political leader of Congress of People; except my cold/flu will pass in few days and COP stuck with Prakash for least one year.Doing best to ward off cold since Tuesday, as Facebookers will know. First casualty seems to be personal pronouns, followed swift by adverbs. Very syntax under threat. First weapon in arsenal is mass-produced, factory-made Emergen-C fizzy drink. Cuffing it down like soca singer defending turf at nightclub.
Got hand it to pharmaceutical corporations. Clever mofos. Come to Third World and patent oranges. Put vitamin C from oranges in little pack. Make it fizzy. Add artificial flavour. Sell tiny little sachet back to Third World for 10 times price sack of oranges; stupid natives like me go out and buy pretty packs, left orange to rot on tree.Real challenge with Emergen-C is how to imbibe. Tastes dreadful, even with rum. Wish House of Angostura proactive enough to produce own blend. Call it 1919-C. Considered mainlining Emergen-C but worried about fizzy tracks. Though might actually be social advantage, might be all rage with young people nowadays, like ecstasy, tattoos or zero body fat/ pubic hair.
Head spinning so far one way now, feel should put spirit level on top keyboard, try to hang on until at least mid-column. Mother Nature vicious as human mother. Care more 'bout big principles, like natural selection and survival of fittest, than minor things like individual wish/ambition. Own mother would have been happier -or least less disappointed-if had become high court judge, stop pissing 'round thinking writing could change anything other than own bank balance. Downward.Just decided orange juice better source vitamin C. Went and got box from supermarket, direct from Florida. Bajan groceries import everything, everything, everything, onions to lettuce to snow peas.
You think orange grow on trees or what? Orange come in plastic bag from USA. Orange juice come in waxed cardboard box, like porn star in Las Vegas. Bought "Most Pulp" version. Go good with "much vodka." Prefer drink alcohol than cough medicine. Try create environment too hostile for germs survive, germs just want get firetruck out of there, like COP member of People's Partnership Cabinet. If fail, at least too drunk realise. Hmmm. Infinitives seem also be falling victim to impending cold/flu. Must try do better. Except "to" plus "to" equals "what for?"Starting write streams of consciousness, now, and missing Leopold Bloom and Port-of-Spain stripped down version-can't really call him "bare bones" version-Keith Smith, who, must be confessed, wrote more "Dry River" of Unconsciousness. Keith, who gave life to Trinidad, gone for good now, though, for his sake, hope went for "bad" instead.
Prefer think Keith beating iron in Hell than playing harp in Heaven. Better fete down dey. Imagine there's no Heaven; certainly no John Lennon up there. John, George, Jimi Hendrix, Andre Tanker, Maestro, James Brown, Marilyn Monroe, Liz Taylor, Heath Ledger, all in Hell. All them actors, all them musicians. Is only theatre and party every night in Hell, as pardner Dave once observed. Whereas, in Heaven, lime is with Mother Theresa, Joan of Arc and one setta saints, popes and pastors. Be glad bounce up couple suicide bombers, maybe hustle one of their virgins.Head feel like been overstuffed with cotton wool. No room for even one idea in there. Hmmm. Could make me top contender for PNM political leader or guarantee me state board post. Also prone to sudden, prolonged bouts of sneezing render me barely sentient creature flopping around wildly, like former Minister of Works trying deal with FIFA challenges. No, not "former." Jack still Minister of Works, just not of "Transport." Former half-minister?
Another Kamla idea that must have seemed good at time. Taking away what might properly be called "material" half of Jack ministry like making Commissioner of Police responsible for everything except crime.Head spinning accelerating rapidly, like collapse of norms in traffic jam going to Firetrucklugtag or whatever Hell it was that shut down western peninsula last weekend. If have a traffic jam in any "ghetto" area in Trinidad now, expectation is to be robbed by hardworking bandit youth. Who say entrepreneurial spirit dead? Who say can't have black business? What it is, if not seeing and grasping opportunity, like Emergen-C producers, to point gun at whole family going beach and take iPod, -Pad and -Phone?Bandits in traffic jam only following national example at highest level: snatch everything can for yourself, even if don't need it. Take it, check see if you want it afterwards. Throw it 'way if don't. But make sure take it. Bandits only copying official T&T attitude to REDjet. Whole Caribbean want REDjet. Competition good for everybody. Everybody benefit, even CAL itself, which forced perform better, which make airline stronger. One man in Trinidad shooting whole Caribbean in foot and Treaty of Chaguaramas in head. Don't care that own Bajan brethren designate REDjet national carrier. Don't give firetruck what happen to whole Caricom. Only thing matter is personal advantage.Head spinning to complete stop now, can't go on another step/ word, but is all right. Just realise: proper response to life in Trinidad now is be sick and fed-up.
BC Pires is head-cold. Read more of his writing at www.BCraw.com