As a parent and a Parenting & Youth Coach, I realise that dealing with kids is very different to dealing with teens.The way they view the world is very different and once parents understand that, the rest is easy. Kids today are born into a world where technology has advanced rapidly over the years and therefore cannot be treated like we were 30 years ago when there were only black and white televisions and rotary telephones.
I came across the following tips for "a great relationship with your kids" by Global Secrets International and started to implement the tips with my son. Our relationship has changed for the better. He appreciates when we consult him on matters that impact him; learning to take responsibility for his actions and to deal with the consequences. Parents in varying circumstances can use these tips successfully.
• PRAISE-It's the magic word when you are dealing with kids. Praise their actions and character traits you admire-the ones you want to reinforce.
• APPRECIATION-Make it a habit to leave them little notes of appreciation on their mirror or bedroom door (a yellow sticky note). Everyone needs to feel appreciated! A hug is worth a thousand (1,000) words.
• RESPECT your child-Always treat them with the respect you would like them to use with you. This is how they learn that lesson.
n CREATE special one-on-one outings together -eg, a Sunday outing around the Savannah or a movie at the cinema. This could be a regular monthly date for just the two of you.
• LISTEN with your full attention when they are speaking, and don't interrupt.
• TALK to them about the things that interest THEM. Ask them about their day.
• HAVE a special time every day that they know is theirs alone with you.
• READ with them as often as you can, and discuss the stories.
• FUN-another magic word when you are dealing with Kids. Find things that you all really enjoy, and just have as much fun together as you can.
• DO projects together. Homework; baking; cooking; house cleaning; laundry – get them to really help.
• ATTEND their important events-the school play, cricket /football games, anything in which they are taking part, or which is important to them.
• ASK their advice on matters which concern them, and on which it is appropriate for them to have an input.
• HELP them behave-Set reasonable standards and boundaries in your family for the kids and adults, and carefully explain the 'rules' and why you have them.
• JOKE together-If they are in to "Knock Knock" jokes, learn a few. Later, when "Toilet Jokes" seem 'screamingly' funny, laugh out loud at those too.
• ENCOURAGEMENT-Cheer them on, support any idea they have that they want to do, rather than pushing your own agenda for them.
• LIMIT-"No" and "Don't"! When used too often they loose their impact.
• ACKNOWLEDGE feelings of fear, anger, jealousy and sadness and discuss.
• DEMONSTRATION-Provide security by taking responsibility for your own life.
• EXCITEMENT and anticipation-Plan special family holidays (or big family events), allowing them to be truly involved in the decision making and planning.
• LOVE-Unconditional love. We can't get enough of it. Tell them every day how much you love them and how good it makes you feel to have them in your life.
For information: coaching4ideallife@yahoo.com or call 290-8171
Janice Learmond Criqui CPC
Ideal Life Certified Professional Coach