The dictionary describes trust as belief, credence, credit, hope, expectation, reliance, confidence, assurance or conviction.It has long been, as the old people would say, "since Jesus was a lil boy," that humans' ability to be trustworthy has been in question. From Adam and Eve's disloyalty to God, to former US president Bill Clinton's denial of an intimate affair with Monica Lewinsky, to golf champ Tiger Woods' embarrassing ordeal last year when it was made public that he had cheated on his wife of seven years, Elin Nordegren. Being public figures, it was near impossible for their treachery to be hidden.
But what about those of us who are not public figures and have displayed some level of being untrustworthy? Whether it was in a relationship, friendship or even professionally. Can you really say that you have always been reliable? Research has shown that nine out of ten people are untrustworthy. However, it also found that this trait often stems from a variety of underlying issues.
What makes people untrustworthy
According to Dr Dorothy M Neddermeyer, PhD, Metaphysician, Hypnosis Practitioner and Regression, trustworthiness is a learned characteristic, as is untrustworthiness. She explained that both these attributes are developed in childhood. "Parents need to keep their word. If they tell a child they will take him/her to the store, that parent needs to then take the child to the store."Whatever you tell a child you need to do it, even when it is something the child would not want you to do. "If you tell your child you are going to send him/her to bed early if he/she hits his/her brother, you need to send your child to bed early in order to demonstrate to your child you are trustworthy," Neddermeyer advised.
"Furthermore, when you follow through on your statements, you are telling your child, I say what I mean and I mean what I say. "This gives your child a sense of security and trust that all will be in right order, even the things they do not wish to have," she added. She said some parents mistakenly think their children will be happier if the stated consequences for unacceptable behaviour are not enforced. So they use statements as scare tactics but never act on them. This leads to a child viewing his/her parent as untrustworthy. Some children grow into adults having adopted the same characteristics-saying things they don't mean and making promises they don't keep. They also believe that people are generally untrustworthy and accept it as the norm. "Your children need you to set boundaries and be trustworthy so they can learn to set boundaries and to be trustworthy," Neddermeyer admonished.
How to break the habit
Like any other undesirable habit, untrustworthy traits can be reversed. The first step is to ensure that you communicate in a way that is accurate and open. Be clear about the message you want to communicate, as this will let your partner, friend, colleagues, boss, know your exact intentions.Clear communication, a display of competence, consistency, sharing control of relationship issues, and being the best person you can be will help you gain trust in any relationship, and put you on the road to trustworthiness.
