Fighting back the tears and emotion that overwhelms her every time she tells the story of her son's untimely death, Marilyn Ortega mother to murdered son Ruddin D Greaves, sat down with the T&T Guardian to share her story and speak of her foundation which now assists families grieving the loss of loved ones whose lives were snuffed out by violence. On July 27, 1997 Ortega got the worst news a mother could ever receive. On the other end of her telephone line, the out of breath and shaky sounding voice of her son's friend delivered the distasteful news of her son's shooting. A shocked Ortega, in disbelief questioned the validity of the news. "His friend called me and said: 'Mom! Mom! They shot Ruddin and now they are taking him somewhere," recalled Ortega.
"I did not believe him, but then the paramedics came on the phone and asked if I was Ruddin's mom and told me that I needed to get down to the Sunny Brook Hospital right away," she added. Her journey to the hospital was a very surreal one as she described the entire incident as one that only appears in the movies. "All on the way I kept thinking this must be just some kind of bad dream.....It just was not registering to me. I kept saying when I get to the hospital, I will discover a less than bad situation and my son would be able to go home with me," Ortega revealed.
Her hope was further boosted when she got to Sunny Brook and was told her son had been transferred to St Michael's Hospital. "I felt a bit of relief because I thought if he was really in a bad condition they would not have opted to transport him to another location," she said.
However, at St Michael's Hospital Ortega's hope was met with the crushing and untamed truth. Police officers investigating the incident ushered her into a waiting room where they broke the news to her. Her son, 22-years-old, had succumbed to his injuries and pronounced dead on arrival at St Michael's Hospital. The news of Greaves' death spread like wildfire with local newspapers carrying the headline: "Trini Shot dead in Toronto, Canada"-the country in which he resided with his family at the time of his passing. Finding out a loved one has passed is never an easy pill to swallow. But knowing that their life was cut short by another human being is even more difficult to accept. To date, Ortega still has her moments of grief. "When he came up to Canada to live with us he had so much hopes for a better life. He was already seeking schools to attend and he also planned to wed his fiancee Lyndy-Ann Russell, the following year," disclosed Ortega. "It had only been four months since his arrival to Canada and already he was very active in the community in which we lived. At the time of his death it was actually the Caribana Festival and he was very much involved in organising the music and other aspects of the festival...he just had a really bright future," Ortega sobbed.
She said following her son's death it was very important that everyone understood it was not just another black man shot in some gang related war, as is often believed. In fact, investigators ruled his killing a homicide. "He was basically in the wrong place at the wrong time," Ortega explained. Greaves had been shot outside a night club as he exited it to make his way home with friends. According to reports a fracas that took place earlier that night in the club resulted in the bouncer throwing the culprits out, however, they returned at the break of dawn and just opened fire on the bouncer and patrons exiting the club. Unfortunately Greaves was one of the people who picked up a bullet and the result of two deaths which occurred from the incident, the other was a young woman, while others survived their injuries. "My son was innocently killed and even though they have never found his murderers, my only peace of mind probably, is that, that was proven," noted Ortega.
The nights may have been sleepless and the days long and gloomy for Marilyn Ortega but in the midst of her sorrow she sought the much needed help to overcome her grief that was practically taking over her life. Five years following her son's death Ortega enrolled into an institution called Bereaved Families of Ontario (BFO). She also became a founding member of the United Mothers Opposing Violence Everywhere (UMOVE) organisation. Since, she has kept busy with the organisation's annual walkathon and outreach programmes. "I tried over the years to cope with the pain and the reality of his death silently but it was literally eating away at me. I had to do something and that is when I visited the institute," she revealed. Ortega said she needed to do something positive out of the negative situation.
"I couldn't just bury my son and leave it like that. I needed to carry on a legacy for him." With a few sessions and adhering to the advice given, Ortega was on the road to regaining her life.
"While there I realised I was not the only mother who had suffered a loss. Since I received the support and the knowledge of coping with grief, I wanted to extended that help to others," Ortega articulated. In 2007 she formed the Ruddin Greaves Memorial Scholarship Foundation in which she financially assists families who have lost loved ones to violence. She also offers motivational sessions to schools and scholarships to young people from depressed communities and broken homes, wanting to attend or complete university. Ortega's work in her community has been praised by the Toronto Mayor, David Miller, Premier Dalton Mc Guinty, Chief of Police William Blair and Education Minister Katheleen Wynne. "Whatever hole you have found yourself in, once you are willing to come out and start over, I will back you 100 per cent," vowed Ortega. Visiting T&T for a month, this certified social worker hopes to meet with the relevant organisations and government officials to implement her programme locally.
"We must become cognisant of the struggles of young people and we must do all in our power to give them hope," she admonished.
