Forget a quiet dinner or an intimate afternoon picnic to pop the ultimate question. These days it's all about public proposals. To ask the woman you love to marry you before hundreds, perhaps thousands, has become a growing phenomenon across the globe.
Abroad, the craze seems to have gotten popular in the early 2000s, with men making public proposals to their girlfriends in all kinds of places–squares, baseball parks, football stadiums and basketball arenas.
Whatever the chosen way, public proposals may take some serious organising and can also be very costly. Abroad, it's not uncommon to hire musicians or singers for the occasion. Popular local string ensemble Alternative Quartet, for example, is no stranger to performing at weddings. Band manager Kathy-Ann Donawa said since the group's formation in 2005, they have only been hired once to play at a marriage proposal.
"It actually wasn't even the entire group, just one of the violinists and for the duration of an hour, it cost about $2,000.
She said the price range depends on the type of request.
Needless to say, some Trini men have not been shy about public proposals. On Carnival Tuesday, when 29-year-old entrepreneur Marcus Sun Kow got down on one knee in the middle of the melee and asked long-term girlfriend Suzette Boissiere, 28, to marry him, it made headlines. What made the unconventional proposal more unusual (but uniquely Trini), was the banner unfurled by Sun Kow's friends from atop a music truck that said, "Ehhh Suz Marrid Meh Nah?"
Boissiere told the Guardian she could not have thought of a better way to be proposed to.
The couple who played with the band Fantasy have been together for eight years, and had been discussing marriage for some time.
Sun Kow said he always wanted to pop the question in a non-traditional way but never found the perfect opportunity.
"There were plans previously to do the proposal on old year's night but it did not work out. I eventually felt Carnival would have been the perfect opportunity as all our family and friends were here," he said.
In 2008, another public proposal made headlines, when 30-year-old Jovan Abraham proposed to girlfriend Renesha Salim, 27, on the digital screen that stands 40 feet above the KFC outlet at Brian Lara Promenade in Port-of-Spain.
The downside of doing it in public
What if she doesn't say yes? How would you deal with that? Leah Sorias, CEO and founder of SaZio's Events and Creative Designs in Arouca, shared her story with us. In 2008, Sorias's then boyfriend proposed on the social network Facebook. The proposal created a buzz, getting a lot of comments from friends and strangers.
"I had a boyfriend in the army in the US. He proposed to me on Facebook in 2008...the whole "world" saw...and got hyped. It was really exciting," said Sorias.
The two began preparing for the wedding but as time passed, Sorias said she began feeling uncertain about marrying him.
"I kept praying about it, and it was as if God told me that it was too rushed and I shouldn't take that step. I called it off.
"He and his family were really disappointed. And yes it was very embarrassing that after all that "public love" on Facebook, we fell through and left a lot of people wondering and asking questions.
But I was glad I followed my instinct, as it turned out he was having an affair with another woman."
Giving a professional opinion on the downside to public proposals was London-based celebrity wedding planner Siobhan Craven-Robins.
Speaking to the T&T Guardian via email, Craven-Robins said on the one hand, public proposals are indeed very romantic but there can be a backlash if the person being proposed to doesn't feel as strongly about marriage as the other person.
"There is usually a lot of time and effort that has gone into the co-ordination of them (public proposals). It is a thoughtful gesture and probably quite an overwhelming experience.
"On the other hand, it may well put pressure on the recipient to say yes. Hopefully this is not the motivation for planning such a public gesture, to add pressure and increase the odds of getting an affirmative. That is just too awful to contemplate," said Craven-Robins.
She said she would think that anyone who plans such a proposal, knows their future fiance(e) well enough, and knows that they would not shirk from such a gesture or feel embarrassed; and also that they know the feeling and the thought of spending the rest of their lives together is a mutual one.
Pros and Cons of Public Proposals
Pros:
�2You and your partner will never forget it. It makes a great story, and shows people you are really serious about this engagement thing!
�2It shows your partner that you are confident and not afraid to show the world how you feel
�2It forces you to privately assess your relationship and ask yourself whether you can be confident of a "yes." You will know when you are sure!
Cons:
�2It puts your partner on the spot in front of a lot of people. Some people don't mind being publicised in such a way, but some people find it very uncomfortable.
�2Whether you are at a game or a restaurant, it leaves you with little intimacy after the proposal acceptance.
�2If your relationship just isn't ready for that level of commitment, you end up humiliating yourself and your partner, as well as making all the witnesses uncomfortable.
�2A public wedding proposal can be a wonderful way to kick off the engagement. If you are considering that, be sure to put a lot of thought into it, to make sure that both you and your partner are the kind of people who can pull it off. It's something you'll remember forever, so make sure you're prepared for it!
Pros and Cons courtesy www.info.endlessembrace.com