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Pregnancy a tough road
Eh! How allyuh goin? I dey. Surviving. Trying to keep meh mouth shut. Story of meh life. Ah had a few of meh frens (and fans!) ask me to write more about pregnancy based on last week’s column. Wha? Yuh eh read it?!?!? Dis is ah every Thursday ting people. Print. Online. Yuh have no excuse eh. Even if yuh only manage to read it on ah Saturday. I digress. So yeah, pregnancy. People does tell meh ah does make it sound funny. It eh funny nah. Ah guess ah jes honest and not all sugar-coated like other yummy mummies.
I get the whole a child is a gift from God thing. And I believe it. I look at the boy and ah know is only God send him for meh. Because is only God love meh so much and have so much faith in meh that against all odds, he tink ah could do dis mudda ting. Me? Almost five years in and ah not so sure nah. Poor fella. And hear nah is love he love meh eh! I pick him up from school and he runs to the gate and says, “Wow! Mommy!” I wonder if he saying wow because he find ah looking pretty and he proud dat ah is he mudda, or is more like he impressed that I actually showed up and didn’t just leave him at school, indefinitely. Allyuh self, I eh go do dat.
So many women want babies. Have they thought this through? I thought it through big time. Dais why I didn’t want chirren. But de Lord had other plans and de little fellas swim right through my contraceptive strategy and boom! The boy. So first things first is de list ah tings yuh cyan do when yuh preggers. Yuh cyan smoke. No coffee. No sushi. No tuna. No pasteurized cheese. Did I say no coffee? Hear nah, dat was de hardest part for me. And ah was preggers in London eh, so ah Starbucks on every corner. And is de biggest cup ah wanted. So cut to me being six months pregnant and looking like ah giving birth to ah small African country, waddling into ah Starbucks and aksin for ah Venti vanilla latte. And not decaf eh. De barista dem used to watch me funny. One even admitted to giving me decaf because they felt bad for the baby. I’ll admit mankind does give trouble to go to sleep but hear nah, I did without the coffee for like ah week and then I was done.
And hear nah, women in de line used to question me, as I was clearly pregnant from as early as six weeks. “You’re having normal coffee, as in not decaf?” I would boldly look at them as to confirm. They would look me up and down and shake their heads. Bold eh? Steups. One lady in particular, up to this day, I’m sure to this day, regrets saying anything to me. So I order de coffee and pay and went to wait for meh not-pregnancy-conducive drink. Ah clock she watching meh as ah make meh order. Me eh say nuttin. People does stare at pregnant women for a plethora of reasons. Then I heard her order a large latte and a brownie.
Then as she come to wait, she hit meh wit it. “You sure you should be drinking coffee and a large one in your state?” Well who call she?! Firstly, Ms. Big Mouth was a little overweight. Ok, a lot overweight. So I simply looked at her and asked, “You sure you should be drinking a large latte and that large brownie in your state?” Ded! Mind yuh business fatty! Giving up all that you need to give up as an expecting mother as well as loaning your body to grow a human is tough. I eh go lie. And it was during those nine months that I knew for sure that I needed to come back to Trinidad. Home. Being pregnant was cool but it had its highs and lows. Being in a place where I didn’t belong, getting fat, giving up things that I loved all for this little blessing inside of me was tough.
I wanted my family and my friends. But I knew the UK health system was the best option for my baby. Yea, the unselfish gene started to kick in. People always say that there’s a maternal instinct that kicks in and dey eh lie. I’ve got it. And my instinct to come home was the right one. Sometimes saying what you really feeling, no matter what people think, is the right course of action. So many women tell me that my view on pregnancy is real and is populated with feelings and opinions that they too felt/feel, but never said because of how it may sounded. Me? Well I eh cater. De truth is de truth and ah does try to speak it.
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