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Ah is ah sitcom

Published: 
Thursday, May 16, 2013

Allyuh good? Yuh miss meh? I dey. A year older. 36 yes! Sounds so old. I remember when my Mom was in her thirties, when I was a little girl. To me then she was such a grown up. I don’t feel like a grown up. Not now. Not ever. A very good friend of mine recently told me that I need my own sitcom. Or I am a sitcom. Doh want tuh misquote quote meh padnah nah. I digress. I will admit that I am pretty interesting and you won’t be bored if you’re out with me on de Avenue. Is kicks whole night. So yeah, ah feelin de sitcom.
It got me thinking though. What would meh sitcom be about? Me of course. But what else? Most sitcoms have main plots and several subplots. It would have to be set in Trinidad and Tobago, of course. 

Allyuh know I am all about meh country. I’m happy with my career staying as it is. Working for a leading advertising agency, columnist at a leading newspaper and don’t forget, mother and wife! Friend, sister, daughter, grand daughter…oh gad oye! I’ve had a fascination with having a morning radio show here in Trinidad for a few years now. I just feel that I have a lot to say and not in the usually way that most say it. How was that relative again? Ok I remember. So I feel that I’m a bit of a busy body. Know ah little about a lot. Have an answer for everything. Like the sound of my voice. 

Always want to get involved in this and that. I feel I want more emphasis on that in meh sitcom than exists now in meh real life. Is my sitcom, aye aye. Ah could do what ah want. So ah would have ah nanny for de boy and ah driver and ah house on de beach.  Wham allyuh jealous? Me too doh worry. So apart from de comedy of me with meh heavy dialect, seeing me at work with meh all-over-de-place self and the overall hilarity that is me and my view on life, each episode will have me chasing some cause or other in the country. 
Whether it be the restoration and preservation of the Magnificent Seven around de Savannah or organising tours to see the flight of the Scarlet Ibis in the Caroni Swamp, it would be great way to show the country and the world (let’s face it, I’ll be international pretty soon!) to see our country and its challenges. Who knows might lead to solutions?
Ah doh really watch TV yuh know. I don’t have cable in my house. For wha? I watch what I want online. I pay for content that I want. And it’s viewed on my laptop (I’m a Mac, in case you’re wondering) or on my phone. 

And honestly, I’ve missed out on a lot of good TV. Doh worry ah catchin up. When I moved to London, I didn’t have a television for like the first three years. For what? To sit down in a country, that I have never lived before, and watch reality show after reality show? When ah could be out living meh own life? Doh geh meh wrong, I love TV, just as much as I love cake. But doesn’t mean it’s good for me to have it as much as I want it, which is every five minutes. Talking about cake. In meh sitcom, I would also touch on things that pissing meh off. Tings dat happen tuh meh frens, meh boy, de husband etc. Well ah could start dat all now. One ah meh fren. We grew up in the same neighbourhood. So ah know she. Aye aye. My girl study she books and went and learn how tuh cook. Aye aye. Then she decide she going to make cakes. 

Well I eh have tuh tell allyuh, she start tuh make cake fadda! Eeeeeef allyuh see cakes. Check she out nah—The Brown Box. Not to be mistaken with Brown Box (no “The”). Steups. Which brings me to my closing point. Well one of them! So apparently, somebody making cakes eeen an inside out cake box, tuh get ah brown box and like dey imitating meh fren. Fuss ting, when ah fus land, meh girl bring meh some cupcakes from The Brown Box and let me tell yuh, the boy lucky he is meh flesh and blood. But udder dan he, ah wasn’t sharing. So box or no box, ah sure ah would be able to taste he cakes fake. 

Secondly, according to the Global Language Monitor, there are 1,013,913 words in the English Language alone. And with more than 6,900 distinct languages in the world, mankind couldn’t find ah word fuh he cake business dat unique? Nobody eh saying yuh cyan make cake but seriously? Yuh drop de “the” and yuh feel yuh in business? Steups. 
Every day we should try to be ourselves and no one else. It’s our life. Our sitcom. No one else’s. So if yuh want amazing cake, go to THE Brown Box and if you want to live your life as best as you can, be you. Ent?

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