Today's families are faced with even greater challenges as we struggle for survival in the face of old and new obstacles. Increased divorce rates, domestic violence, single parenting, step parenting, school violence, the day care dilemma, teen pregnancy will all continue and this has created feelings of despair for too many.
We have to find ways to survive and discover the simple joy that life can still bring–especially if we focus on building and/or rebuilding a strong and vibrant family unit.
Time will continue to be a scarce resource for parents and we will need to struggle to balance work and family. Technology will become so advanced that we will be struggling to hold on to some of our very fundamental values. External influences will be so overwhelming that we will struggle to maintain control of our own children. Money will be a scarce resource for many families who will find it more difficult to provide basic necessities. Social problems such as Aids, alcohol and drug abuse, suicide, unemployment, lack of housing, will plague the existence and survival of families–but we cannot give up and must find the courage to secure family life!
All the skills that many organisations are now applying for their survival will need to be applied to the family system if families want to secure and maintain any semblance of real family life. It will take good leadership skills, team work, effective communication, continuous training, sound policies, and clear rules with appropriate consequences, goal setting, and clear objectives to safeguard family life today.
Parents will need to become lifelong learners and must equip themselves with skills and knowledge about relationships, child rearing, communication, and more, if they are serious about survival in the midst of chaos. Families who remain committed to family life as their top priority will survive and will be able to shape their members to survive successfully amidst all the challenges. Their children will emerge as winners and will be able to cope because they would have the training, support, and love, of parents who took the time to preserve the most important organisation on earth–the family.
Make the decision and commit
What can families do? We can begin by making a decision about whether we want to survive or not. Survival will mean a very clear and conscious decisionby all members of the family team, especially the leaders. Today's family cannot afford to be under led and its leaders will need to be equipped with the skills to lead effectively. Parents who are leaders must be credible in the eyes of their followers, their children. Therefore, parents will need to be good role models with a clear sense of direction, and able leaders who will proactively lead their children into adulthood.
Let us forget the old argument that nothing prepares us to be parents. We have been learning to be parents since we were born, fortunately or unfortunately, from our own parents. Today, we can decide to hold on to their methods and their ways of parenting or we can realise that a lot has changed since that time and make some changes in the way we parent while holding on to some of the fundamental rules and values.
Of course, this will take work and this is why we must decide whether we want to do the work or not. After this decision, we will need to commit to this goal of family survival and it is only then that we should take ourselves seriously. So, make the decision and then commit.
The most important organisation on earth may not be able to survive without this commitment. Finally, remember to take care of yourselves, parents as our children like to see us healthy and happy–in fact, preserving our health and well-being is the greatest gift that we can give to our children.
Dr Starke is a psychotherapist/Lifeskills coach and OD (Organisational Development) consultant who provides workshops/seminars for employees and supervisors. Please contact her at - Thestarkereality@gmail.com or www.ctclifeskills.com with comments and/or questions.