Jane Powell, chief executive of the UK's Campaign Against Living Miserably (Calm), was quoted in the UK Guardian a year ago saying, "When it comes to suicide prevention, we are almost gender-blind."
Powell drew comparisons with breast cancer campaigns targeted at women. "We don't look at suicide prevention messages with men in mind, and certainly not with any level of sophistication. Putting a man holding his head on a leaflet isn't going to work."
According to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, "suicide is the tenth leading cause of death in the US, resulting in nearly 43,000 deaths each year. Men commit suicide 3.5 times more often than women, with the highest rate among middle-aged white men.
"Most experts agree that the stigma surrounding suicide often results in under-reporting, and the actual numbers may be much higher. This has prompted some to refer to suicide as the silent epidemic. (www.mentalhealthcenter)"
Statistics indicate that for every actual suicide, there are 25 attempts. The specific causes of suicide among men vary widely, with specific circumstances influenced by many determinants. Researchers remain unclear as to why the rates are so much higher among men than women.
I found no statistics to show our reality in T&T, but according to the global figures we are ranked 41st for death by suicide and second only to Guyana in the hemisphere.
I took some time to review some of the recent suicides. I was bemused by the reactions to 51-year-old Motilal Rattansingh who died after allegedly poisoning himself in the Manzanilla area. More so, because we had been so careful in our attitude towards two young women who had comitted suicide just before.
There was an Internet photo of the note left and a picture of the victim–and yes, they are victims as much as we have traditionally bashed those who have suicided with labels of selfishness and other illiteracies. Generally, I resist the details but this time I read the note left by Rattansingh. Then I read the comments.
I was subjected to the witlessness, callousness, and selfishness of the posters comments. It moved me to tears. Is that really who we are? Or had a drunken stupor laced with stupidity overtaken us?
Of course, the circumstances of Rattansingh having allegedly poisoned his 11-year-old son added to the fury of commenters, but it was one of those times when I loathed the often-touted destructiveness of social media.
"I have absolutely no pity for him...he was a wicked and selfish man" the rants began. "I don't feel sorry for him..."; "I understand why she left him" and a host of screaming judgments that got many "likes" and that just made me wish I could censor some people's Facebook freedom.
People hardly ever get to suiciding without some contemplation, which we always decipher in hindsight. With that pervasive thinking, though, I can only imagine the fear to talk about one's feelings, risking the chance of ridicule by parents, siblings, spouse, peers, and children. Risking injury to relationships with people who do not quite understand that in crises they need to draw nearer to you and who may decide to isolate you.
I imagine it really must be difficult to say to someone, "Sometimes I think of killing myself," knowing that, in the bigotry in which we exist, help and Mental Health First Aid may never be the answer one gets, even though it's the one you want and need.
For some of us who are strong, no one wants to entertain our weakness. We just cannot be or appear weak. I remember one partner in peer counselling, a strong woman, known for her indomitable spirit, who told me how her son rejected her and jeered at her. Because he couldn't come to terms with her weakness, he mocked her.
In the depth of her despair, that hopelessness and sometimes helplessness that the disease brings, she just wanted to curl up and die. He had no reference for her weakness and in turn became angry because as he said: "That shell lying down in a bed all day cannot be my mother." I have always wondered what he would have said if it were his father afflicted by such a condition.
Looking for signs
Depression is the leading mental health disability globally and is reported retrospectively as existing prior to many suicides. It is often more difficult to diagnose in men because men generally are socialised to not complain.
"Men are less likely to admit to distress and if they do consult their doctor, they tend to focus on physical complaints" says netdoctor.co.uk.
The diagnosis of depression is made when several core features are present:
�2 pervasive low mood
�2 loss of interest and enjoyment
�2 reduced energy and diminished activity
�2 poor concentration and attention
�2 poor self-esteem or self-confidence
�2 ideas of guilt and unworthiness
�2 a bleak, pessimistic view of the future
�2 thinking about, planning, or attempting suicide
�2 crying for no reason
�2 disturbed sleep
�2 poor appetite
�2 decreased interest in sex.