Whisked away from her home where she endured sexual abuse from age five, motivational speaker/evangelist Cheryl Ann Gajadhar was sent to live at St Mary's Children Home, Tacarigua. Later, she would document how she dealt with her pain, hurt, emptiness and loneliness with her autobiography The Girl In The Cupboard.
She did not bury her head in the sand like the proverbial ostrich and pretend it never happened. Instead, she decided to share her tale of abuse twinned with her faith in God. While she remained cognisant about the need for counselling and therapy, she exalted the Almighty for restoring her passion for life. Some of the "bittersweet" experiences in the orphanage are documented there.
In a nutshell, it is a tale of triumph against extreme adversity. To date, she has used the lessons gleaned to bring hope to people including children who have had to deal with men who had "lost their reason and turned to brutish deeds." Interviewed on Wednesday, Gajadhar proudly spoke about the sequel to Girl In The Cupboard, which included a Workbook Safety Tips (What Young Children Need to Know About Their Personal Safety) and an accompanying manual.
They were both launched at Fatima RC, Curepe, on November 3. Gajadhar said, "People know about the Girl In The Cupboard. I added the workbook and the manual to help people to better interact with children. It included safety tips. "I have gotten to a place where I am comfortable talking about my abuse.
People call upon me to talk and share my story of abuse with people who have been abused. I don't do it here but in the Caribbean. I thought it would help to add the workshop and manual. The CD has 19 tracks. Children need to be taught the difference between "good touch" and "bad touch." She works closely with the St Mary's Home. "I go back and share with them. I share vignettes with them.
I have spoken to the principal to do workshops in 2013," added Gajadhar. Reverting to the metaphor of the cupboard, she said, "My mom (the late Jean Gajadhar) would lock us in a cupboard at home to go liming. Social workers got wind of it and took us away. At St Mary's, there was a cupboard. Whenever I felt alone, sad, I would go into the cupboard. I would give my pains and hurt to the cupboard. It was a form of security and a place of comfort."
On the flip side, she remembered the joys of getting toys for Christmas. "I would be happy with the other children. I liked the treat and toys. We all looked forward to being treated. In a strange way, there was a sense of family and belonging." Another positive was getting a smattering of education. "I learned to read and write. God helps me with my craft."
Missionaries intervention Another intervention was a visit from missionaries including Marcia Tappin-Boxhill. They spoke about love and the love for fellowmen. "It was an alien concept. I felt I had to get to know who this God was. This God who loved his children. When they were leaving, they gave me a Bible. I found it became a new source of comfort to me. The visits to the cupboard became less," said Gajadhar. At 17, she left the orphanage.
Tears streamed down her face when she realised her mother had one room. It was a horror story she could not relive again. "I started to cry. I said I was not living there." She was sent to live with her aunt at Belmont. But unable to cope, she ran away. The streets became her favourite haunt. When she reached a breaking point, she contacted Tappin-Boxhill.
Again, she reached out to her. "She found her a place to live. She helped me to get my life back on track. She helped me, like she always did." Asked how she felt about her mother, she said, "I have had to find a way to forgive her. I always wonder why when the social workers took us away, no one looked back at her. Nobody seemed to reach out to her. Could it be possible she had her own hurts and pains.
We all have our burdens to bear. I often ask the question, "What about the parents?" Soft-spoken Gajadhar's voice quivered. "A lot of how I feel about my mother is written. When our father died, she started drinking a lot. I have written ten books. In everyone of the books, there is a piece of me in it. I found out there is a God who cares."
Proceeds to build Open Cupboard home
Gajadhar, a member of Open Bible, Arima, and the non-governmental organisation (NGO) Self Worth Against Self Rejection (Soar) has resolved to do even more for victims of sexual abuse. Proceeds from book sales would go towards building a home in the East. "We need to do a little more to help these victims. It would be called Open Cupboard." She reminded parents that abuse often occurs within the family. She felt the church has to deal with abuse practically.
"They have to bring in counselling. Yes, there is the power of prayer and God. There must be a holistic approach. Schools, communities and churches have to take full responsibility. The reality is child abuse is real. It's going to happen," said Gajadhar. Zeroing on her situation, Gajadhar said, "They (St Mary's) gave counselling in group sessions, not individually. When a person has been through abuse they must go through therapy. I have been through therapy."
• More info:
check the Web site:
www.thegirlinthecupb
oard.com,
telephone: 762-5486
or visit Ishmael
Khan's bookshop and
Jadoo's Arima.