You are here

New Year’s Resolutions Revealed

Published: 
Friday, January 10, 2014

Even though we know they’re pointless, and even after some smartass, early in January (ie, me, last week) shows New Year’s resolutions end up as the same old-same old in less time than it takes a West Indies middle order to collapse, we all make them. Today, I reveal the resolutions of several local public figures, with the makers’ own annotations to help them achieve their goals.

 

Ishwar G’s Notepad
1(a) Make prioritised list of son’s wedding guests; try to limit invitees to 800-900 closest friends; e-mail next 500 dearest friends explaining have to do best in hard times, so little tourist arrivals, so much legal fees, to keep wedding strictly to intimate circle; send them rental car/hotel room discount certificates to make up? 
2. Make friends with lawyers, see if can’t get reduction in fees, or at least ask for bulk discount. 
3. Ask Steve for birthday gift of fee on brief for appeal against refusal of appeal against refusal of court to allow appeal against side issue. 
4. Travel more; not to any countries with extradition treaties with US, though.

 

Office of the Prime Minister
1. Lose weight: if that is too hard, given all the cocks-tail party fingers-food a PM have was to eat for good manners, promote Roodi to AG, so can sit next to him in Parliament and not look fat
2. Make better friends with Larry, get bigger budget slice for PM’s office entertainment allowance than oil/natural gas exploration or healthcare. 
3. Stop smoking? Reduce drinking? impossible, don’t smoke and only take occasional social sip; so stop exercise, to concentrate on solving nation’s problems. (Get same person who leaked E-mailgate to Keith R to leak that to media.)

 

 

To read the full article, please sign-in or signup for your Free Trial of the Digital Guardian. 
No payment details required, for your Free Trial.

Disclaimer

User comments posted on this website are the sole views and opinions of the comment writer and are not representative of Guardian Media Limited or its staff. Guardian Media Limited accepts no liability and will not be held accountable for user comments.

Please help us keep out site clean from inappropriate comments by using the flag option.

Guardian Media Limited reserves the right to remove, to edit or to censor any comments. Any content which is considered unsuitable, unlawful or offensive, includes personal details, advertises or promotes products, services or websites or repeats previous comments will be removed.

Before posting, please refer to the Community Standards, Terms and conditions and Privacy Policy