Clinical psychologist and University of the West Indies lecturer Dr Katija Khan is urging society to stop normalising intimate partner violence and victim-blaming, saying abusive behaviour should never be dismissed as ordinary relationship conflict.
Khan, who also serves on the board of the Coalition Against Domestic Violence, was speaking about a video circulating on social media showing a woman being verbally and physically abused and threatened by a man.
She cautioned members of the public against sharing such footage, saying it could distress or re-traumatise victims, children, families and viewers.
Khan said media organisations sharing such material should follow guidelines that protect the dignity and privacy of people shown, while providing content warnings and information on available support services.
She also rejected the idea that women should bear responsibility for preventing or escaping abuse.
“We often place the burden on women who are trying to survive violence,” Khan said, adding that society must recognise physical violence, threats, intimidation and controlling behaviour as abuse.
She said factors such as jealousy, stress or alcohol use did not excuse abusive behaviour.
Khan also urged the public to reject questions such as “what she did”, “why is she staying” or “why is she going back”.
She said there could be many reasons why a woman remains in/or returns to an abusive relationship, and none made her responsible for the violence.
Khan explained that women experiencing abuse may simultaneously manage their own fear and anxiety while monitoring the perpetrator’s behaviour in an attempt to keep themselves safe.
“What might look like someone tolerating abuse may just be an attempt to be safe in that moment,” she said.
She encouraged victims, families, friends and co-workers to seek professional assistance and highlighted the Trinidad and Tobago Police Service’s Gender-Based Violence Unit and the national domestic violence hotline, 800-SAFE.
The Coalition Against Domestic Violence also provides free psychological services, social support and legal guidance.
Khan said victims should have access to practical assistance including safe accommodation, healthcare, counselling, legal and financial support.
She also called for perpetrators to be held accountable, saying authorities must act urgently when intimate partner violence is identified.
Khan acknowledged that people of all genders can be victims, but said women constitute the majority of victims and men, the majority of perpetrators.
She urged men to challenge peers who use threats or violence and encourage them to take responsibility and seek help.
