Grooming is defined at section 25 of the Children Act as follows:
“…gaining the trust of a child, or of a person who takes care of the child, for the purpose of sexual activity with the child.”
Adults or older persons who are predators select children who are vulnerable, sometimes isolated from others, lack a proper support system or are experiencing differing forms of distress. Due to the child’s vulnerability, they are able to build a relationship based on emotional connection and trust. In so doing, the child is being prepared for some form of exploitation or sexual abuse. Close family friends, step-parents, step-siblings and other persons who have constant access to children are usually well positioned to groom the vulnerable child. We are surrounded by predators in Trinidad and Tobago. Many go undetected. Even more have never been charged. Why? Victims do not speak out. The last few days in our beloved country gave us a real-life example about grooming, sexual abuse and why victims remain silent.
Our land is not one of honey and milk, though many of us live in our bubble and believe all is well. Should we step out of our bubble, we would soon realise how many citizens live in poverty or suffer from some vulnerability. There are women who are dependent on men, not necessarily the father of their children, to take care of the financial needs of their home. There are children who do not regularly attend school, who are deprived of basic necessities and who are only familiar with a life of hardship. Women, yes, women who are mothers have turned their backs to abuse faced by their children in their homes due to the desperation for financial assistance from the abuser.
The stories do come out from time to time, but many of us act like we are unaware. Children in these situations can be easily persuaded that the person buying them snacks or an occasional treat or promising them a life of better, cares and loves them and sexual touching is a form of that love.
A 13-year-old in our country went missing. A mother gave an interview which alluded to having spoken to the child and being aware of the general description of where the child was, but not an exact location. A step-father was not mentioned by the mother. The entirety of the story was not told. When the child was found, she was not treated like the vulnerable victim that she was; she was not protected from public view as should have been done considering the provisions of the Sexual Offences Act and the Children Act.
Instead, Trinidad erupted in a debate about whether or not a video which, in essence, was confronting the child about her conduct should or should not have been posted on social media. Trinidad and Tobago used the typical approach of victim blaming.
We did not await the police investigation; we did not demand that the Children’s Authority be immediately notified to conduct their own investigation; instead, we became judge, jury and executioner against a 13-year-old child.
Just recently, our Parliament erupted in a debate about the legal drinking, gambling and smoking age in this country. It was decided by our lawmakers that 18-year-olds were incapable of making proper decisions with respect to drinking, and this led to the early onset of addiction, harm on the nation’s roadways and a dangerous pattern of behaviour. Yet, several days later, we should be led to believe that a 13-year-old was capable of making decisions concerning sexual activities (though we have laws which speak to the contrary) and, based on the adult-like behaviour, then, the child should suffer adult consequences.
It should be appreciated that children are simply children. Our laws have always recognised this and have strived to protect children from abuse, particularly abuse of a sexual nature. It should also be considered and appreciated that children will not necessarily recognise the implications and dangers associated with sexual activities with adults. The vulnerability of children is what allows abusers to carry out their various forms of abuse in what should be safe spaces for children.
Many children stay silent because they have been conditioned to believe that others will not believe them, or the abuse is somehow their fault or due to their actions, or, that what they are experiencing is due to some love and care that their abusers have towards them. Reactions, such as those which were put on full display by citizens, explain many of the reasons why the victims of sexual abuse chose to remain silent.
The child victim in this case was not afforded protection. She was not viewed as the vulnerable child she was, worthy of protection by the law and various institutions in our country. Instead, people elected to ignore the adult who is liable for some form of criminal charge, but directed all of their attention at further belittling, judging and reprimanding a 13-year-old.
Pavitra Ramharack is head of chambers at Pavitra Ramharack Attorneys at Law and can be reached at ramharack_pavitra@outlook.com
