As we grew up in the same house, they tortured us and teased us, shared what they knew and set us straight. They became the blueprints for the men we would grow up to love. Our fathers? No, the OTHER men in our young lives: Our Brothers!
Playmates
They were our reluctant guests at dolly tea parties, and (if we bribed them with the right snack) sat still while we put ribbons in their hair. We played Sorry and Chinese Checkers on the living room floor, and when we threw the board at them in frustration after we lost, they showed enough restraint not to hit us back most of the time."We're three years apart (he's older) and we're the last two kids, so everybody thought of us as a single unit. We were very close and did everything together, even as teenagers...in between god-awful fights, that is."Even better, they helped bring out our inner tomboy, luring us away from the frou-frou and frills of Barbie dress-up games outside into the sunshine.As one woman recalls, "I remember this house they were building across the road that took forever, and there were huge piles of sand in front. We used to build roadways and whole cities with his dump trucks, and drive his matchbox cars around."
Teachers
When we were young, they taught us how to rollerskate or ride bikes. They demonstrated the engineering principles behind the construction of a solid cushion fort. When we chickened out, they were right there in the yard, flashlights cutting through the darkness, helping us catch frogs for Bio class.And as we grew older, they taught us how to navigate the social pitfalls of young adulthood."The nicest things my brother ever did for me was teach me how to dance, limit alcoholic intake, and how to drink without getting high."
Tormentors
A few women (lucky them) were never on the receiving end of brotherly torture. "As children we didn't fight, because our parents didn't tolerate it. My brother didn't pick on me, though he teased a lot."Others remember running screaming through the house, trying to evade the dreaded snot-covered finger. "My brother used to make me stick my hand into spider's webs under our Auntie's house. Even now, I'm still terrified of spiders."Another recalls, "My two brothers tied a white sheet onto a rope and lowered it from the roof and jiggled it in front my window. It looked like a ghost fluttering in the breeze. I ran screaming to my mother...and she laughed!"
Protectors
Our brothers were our protectors, sometimes more so than our fathers, since we often got into the kind of trouble we didn't dare tell Daddy about, but wouldn't mind running crying to a sibling over. Some of us were even lucky enough to be under a Parental Protection Order: "That's your sister, boy. Look after her, you hear me?"A demographer looks back on life under her brother's watchful eye: "I couldn't date unless my brother accompanied me, along with his date. He hated that." But he did it anyway.In another close-knit family, a community liaison officer remembers the first time her husband cheated on her. "My three brothers waited for him one evening and put a beating on him. They warned him he'd get a second dose if he ever horn me again." She shrugs. "It didn't really stop him, and eventually we divorced, but I will never forget how it felt to know that these three big men cared enough about their little sister to do something like that."Our brothers risked their necks for us. "As a teen, he freed me from an elevator I was trapped in. I still appreciate that, since the cable snapped less than ten minutes after I got out."
Heroes
Sometimes the boys we grow up with teach us lessons about love that we take not just to the men in our lives, but to the rest of humanity. "I still am and have been closest to my brother with Down Syndrome. Ironically, he is the sole family member willing to put himself at physical risk to protect me. Three times he saved me while I was being harmed, and he's only 4 ft 10, while I'm 5 ft 10. Each time, he physically forced my assailant to stop. Though for the most part he's mentally about six years old, he is in his own way the smartest, bravest and definitely most empathetic of my family."
No brother? What a shame.
And here's what one woman who didn't have brothers had to say: "My mom had five girls. I always wanted a brother though. And as the oldest girl, I remember wishing each and every one of my sisters would be a boy."Brothers, kill us dead, we'd never say this to your face, but we love you, and we're glad you're around. Just keep your snot-covered fingers to yourself, okay?
