It's 11:05 p.m....do you know where your man is? These days, he'd better be indoors safe and sound 'till morning, or face the wrath of the law. While both sides of the political divide heatedly debate the positive and negative effects of the State of Emergency and the accompanying curfew on national security matters, how many have given any time to an equally important aspect of life in T&T: romance? We asked a handful of friends and readers this simple question: How has the current curfew affected lovers and spouses?
Living in a pressure cooker
Disturbingly, for almost every responder, the first thought was that there has surely been a rise in domestic violence and abuse. Though one woman argued that it's too soon to tell, and the paucity of available statics makes the theory impossible to prove, her voice was drowned out by a host of others. "Think of it," says one rational-minded man, "in the States it's proven that when families get snowed in for weeks at a time there's a rise in family violence. Sooner or later you're going to find the TV is on too loud, or somebody is taking too long in the bathroom, or someone won't stop talking. People are going to get on your nerves."
"You're stuck with an abusive husband," elaborates a woman, who, incidentally, lost a sister to domestic violence several years ago. "Usually at night he goes his way, and you go yours. He could go out and drink or check his little thing on the side. But now he's stuck with you, and not happy about it...."
One for the road
Most agreed that the limited drinking hours haven't made those who are a little too fond of the bottle drink less: it only makes them drink faster. "A dangerous development," says one young woman. An understatement indeed.
What love life? What curfew?
For a few women, the needle on their Romance Monitor didn't even dip for a second. "What love life?" sighed a communications executive. Women whose workload has increased because of the SoE, such as media or military personnel, are getting even less time with their honeys... or for meeting someone in the first place. A popular media personality sighed, "If there was any hope of having a love life, the SoE pretty much killed it with all the extra work hours." And if it's your man who's serving in the armed forces, well, your pipe is pretty well smoked.
Close to home and hearth
The women who were in healthy relationships in the first place fare the best. "It's good to have him home to myself, without late work nights getting in the way. We try to find interesting things to do together; rent movies or make nice dinners or stay up late with a tiramisu and a TV show. It sounds boring, but it's quite romantic." It doesn't take a psychic to tell that another woman commenting on the situation is probably right when she says, "Imagine how high the birth rate is going to climb early next year. Curfew babies!"
Mistresses lose out
For every woman glad to have her footloose husband confined to quarters, unable to spend the evening "working late at the office, wink, wink," there's a mistress out there who's counting her losses. The girlfriend of a busy executive, who actually quit her job at his office when she became pregnant for him, now spends the nights pacing the floors of her small apartment while her four-year-old peppers her with questions about "Where daddy is."
Since he's a staunch family man who spends his weekends with his wife and children, this lady on the side has to be content with hurried visits once a week or so, when he barely has time between appointments to drop off a little money for his son, but not to wow her in bed like he used to. "It's hard," she confesses, because she truly does love him, "But the upside is that's it's given me time to think about our relationship. Maybe when this is over, I'll work up the courage to break it off, and find someone I don't have to hide to sleep with."
Testing time
Love it or hate it, the curfew is here to stay in T&T, until the powers that be say otherwise. While some are blooming with the bliss of renewed romance, others are being forced to ask themselves some cold, hard questions about their relationships, or lack thereof. For many people in T&T, the lovers and the fighters, this is testing time.
