Cheerful giving: The best tonic for the heart

God loves a cheerful giver...at least, that’s what Grandma keeps telling us. And sure, we enjoy seeing the eyes of our little ones light up when they get that special toy, and the smile on our man’s face when we surprise him with a little gadget we know is just right for him. But giving isn’t only about what we can get in a store.  We don’t have to leave our credit card groaning under a burden of debt in order to show our love.  We can give of our time, our energy, our know-how, our patience, our understanding, our compassion...the list goes on and on.  But as women, we give so much we wind up feeling like empty paper bags, barely able to stand on our own.  Sometimes, giving doesn’t leave us feeling very cheerful. They key to being positive...and staying cheerful when we give...lies in remembering what it can do for us, and for others.  Here’s what a few of the world’s great thinkers had to say on the subject:

 

Giving frees your soul

“I have found that among its other benefits, giving liberates the soul of the giver”, says author and poet Maya Angelou. Giving frees us from the shackles of selfishness.  When we give, we’re thinking about the other person, and how we’re pleasing them, rather than focusing on ourselves.  When we give, we cease to wonder, “What about me?” It ain’t what you give, it’s how you give it. Roman philosopher Lucius Annaeus Seneca, who walked the Earth around the same time Christ did, said, “A gift consists not of what is done or given, but of the intention of the giver or doer.”  Giving comes from the heart, and what’s in that heart, be it love, compassion, anger or resentment, goes straight to the heart of the recipient.  Whether it be a lift home when we’re stranded in the rain, an word of advice when we’re straying off the right path, or a Mercedes Benz wrapped with a humongous red bow, what we remember about the gesture isn’t what we got, but the warmth we see glowing in the eyes of the giver.

 

Still not convinced?  

Here’s what medieval monk and author Thomas ň Kempis wrote: “He who loves with purity considers not the gift of the lover, but the love of the giver.”

 

Nothing we give is wasted

“Nonsense,” you say.  How many times have you visited a friend’s home to find last year’s Christmas present shoved away in a corner, unused and unappreciated?  How often do you buy the perfect toy for a child, only to find it carelessly discarded, gathering cobwebs under the bed? What we must remember is that the item we give is seldom significant; it’s the love behind the gesture that the recipient remembers.  Relationship writer Barbara De Angelis said it best when she observed that “Love and kindness are never wasted. They always make a difference. They bless the one who receives them, and they bless you, the giver.”

 

It’s possible to give too much

A kid who’s spoiled rotten doesn’t endear himself to anyone.  A friend who becomes so reliant on your support that she’s unable to do anything for herself becomes a virtual cripple.  Sometimes, for their sake, you have to say “No.”  As German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche put it, “This is the hardest of all: to close the open hand out of love, and keep modest as a giver.”

 

The time for giving is now

Samuel Johnson, one of the greatest writers in the English Language, said, “He who waits to do a great deal of good at once, will never do anything.”  Translation, if you have the chance to do something good for someone, get off your butt and do it now.  Sitting around waiting for the opportunity to make some grand gesture (preferably with cameras rolling or lots of people standing around) isn’t charity.  It’s selfish grandstanding.  Big or small, your generous gesture matters to someone, so just do it.

 

Giving is good for you

“If you haven't got any charity in your heart,” says actor, comedian and philanthropist, Bob Hope, “you have the worst kind of heart trouble.”  And yes, we’d consider having a heart that’s hard, cold, or three sizes too small to be a serious condition.  The remedy?  A few spoonfuls of generosity, loving kindness and selfless giving.  It’s worked for just about everyone...it’s definitely going to work for you.