5 bits of (Mental) Clutter to toss

We accumulate a great deal of physical clutter around us. Usually, we are unaware of its slow build up, until an event or some epiphany opens our eyes to how crowded our space has become. In the same way, the drone of daily life also causes a build up of emotional and mental clutter that increasingly overpowers and drowns our best intentions at creating and enjoying a productive and happy life. Additionally, they prevent opportunities and people from entering and affecting our lives in positive ways. Are you fuelling anger, nursing grudges, clinging to old hurts, cradling fears, nurturing irrational anxieties and sleeping with all sorts of obsessions? Opportunities to expand your horizons and explore new experiences might be bypassing your door. If you feel crowded and your best efforts are stymied despite well-organized physical spaces, the following internal clutter might be the  “UNWELCOME” mat at your life’s door. 

 

1. Poor self-image   

Who you were a decade or two ago has little to do with the person staring back from the mirror today. Are you guilty of carrying around negative feelings about yourself year after year? Difficult as it is to admit, you must realise that you’re wasting time, energy and great opportunities with this toxic piece of clutter. Your self-image may be so poor that your life and relationships are in jeopardy. Ask yourself, “Is my self-image helping or hindering me, my dreams and my relationships?” 

 

2. Regrets 

At some point you must realise that the ‘woulda’s’, ‘coulda’s’ and ‘shoulda’s’ don’t add anything useful to your life. Embrace the past for its value - turning regrets into reviews that will safeguard you from repeating bad decisions and actions in the future. Celebrate who you are today and take steps to grow into a better, stronger person. 

 

3. Unreasonable expectations of others

Some of your expectations may be riding on good intentions. Nevertheless, we should keep our expectations in check to ensure that we do not put undue pressure on others to always be and do what we want or determine to be best for them. Analyse your expectations of others. Are they rooted in your beliefs, values, traditions, feelings of inadequacy, inferiority, etc? If you take the life story, feelings and wishes of those people into consideration, you may discover that your expectations are unreasonable. Try to align your expectations with those they have for themselves and come to a happy compromise to help one another to achieve their life goals. 

 

4. Grudges

We all have someone who did us wrong in the past. Is it really worth it to harbour that grudge? Is it affecting your life - how you perceive and deal with people? Remember that when you hold a grudge against someone, who give them power over you, your life and relationships. Free yourself to trust and love again. Give yourself permission to toss your old grudges.   

 

5. Perfection

An obsessive need for perfection limits how far we venture with a project or how soon you complete finish necessary daily tasks. Perfection can rob you of the freedom to enjoy the simple pleasures in life such as - 

• Resting and nurturing your body, mind and spirit, reading, writing in your journal, enjoying your favourite kinds of music and movies.

• Giving yourself over to the stop-and-start and succeed-and-fail nature in a creative process.

• The soulful experience of preparing a meal for a loved one and lingering after to talk, laugh, and share your day’s stories.  

Feeling stuck in an organised physical space? Your internal clutter could be to blame. Identify it, bag it and toss it.