Richard Bradford was born to a Trini mother and an English father. He grew up in Trinidad until he was about 8, then moved to small northern town in England called Market Rasen. After many years splitting his life between Trinidad and the UK, he returned to live here six years ago. Now, a single father of two daughters aged four and nine, he faces the challenge of balancing family life and his business.
Woman Wise had a chat with him about his life, work and single parenting, and here's what he had to say:
On being raised by a Bishop's girl.
There's something about my mother and her peers from Bishop's. They're all very strong, very achieved. True Matriarchs. The teaching was, just because you're a woman, it doesn't mean your place has to be in the home. Quite unique in its day.
On adapting to life in the UK.
My brother and I were perceived very differently when we went to live in the UK. We were the only kids in the area with colour to our skin. We got picked on quite a bit. My mother, said, "They're jealous because you're better than them." She told us we could do anything we wanted if we applied ourselves. So we grew up confident, and maybe slightly arrogant. Over the years I've learned to embrace my two different identities, but it took me a while to understand it how to do this.
On being a modern father.
Parenting has changed a lot since I was my children's age. Whether you're a single father or single mother, the challenges of parenting not gender specific. The girls' mum works as well, but as I have the more flexible schedule, I pick them up from school. They have activities every day except Friday. Then it's home to do their home work whilst I prepare dinner. All meals we have together sitting round the table. It not just about food, it is about family time. They spend half the week sleeping at their mum, so I do get time to catch up in the evenings sometimes. You can't fake motivation. You have to WANT to do these things otherwise it's no fun for anyone. Fortunately I have my partner, Melissa to call on sometimes. She's my support.
On finding time
I love five o'clock in the morning. The calm before my daily storm. When I wake up, all I can see from my bedroom is sea, and the haze of the sun starting to illuminate the sky with the promise of a perfect day. I sit on the porch with my laptop, a cup of tea, and smile and I get at least a good hour in prepping for my day until the girls come looking for me at around six. My afternoons are hectic and split between the girls and work. Thank goodness for mobile phones and laptops.
On children
My kids are both very different. The elder is very refined, a kind of sporty academic princess. The younger is wild and funny, and they both bring an immense joy to my life in equal amounts and are my motivation in life. Pretty much everything I do is centred around them.
On what he learned in the British Navy
Some of it was amazing; some of it was very tough. I learned responsibility and independence. You never give up. You just keep going no matter what.
This has helped me a lot as a parent. No matter how tired and frustrated you get, giving up is not an option.
On Trini women
Women here are more traditional than in England. In the last 30 years the power balance between men and women has changed. The power men think they have, I'm not sure they really have anymore. It's hard for some men to accept the invasion that women are making into their traditional roles, but I know there are some women who see me as invading on their traditional roles.
On the need to act like a man to be successful
I have many female friends who have the high-powered jobs, but say what they really miss some times is being allowed to feel like a woman: feminine. They want men to be men and women to be women and have the odd door opened for them. There's no shame in that. You can't change two million years of evolution with 50 years of feminism. There is still a place for women to be women. You don't have to act like man to compete in a man's world.
On belonging
Moving back to Trinidad later in life, I think I have an appreciation for Trinidad that others may have forgotten. Many of my friends are so busy thinking about shopping in Miami, they forget the beauty they have on their doorstep. As different as I am and sound, I feel at home here.
