Having a cellphone would mean I'd have to have friends. I mean what would I do if I dropped my cellphone in the toilet? I have no friends I could call upon to borrow their cellphones. So, once again, I'm in search of the perfect Christmas present. A cellphone doesn't seem to fit the bill. If I'm to be perfectly honest, I would really just like my Internet to work again. That would be a good enough Christmas present for me. Miracles do happen at Christmas, don't they?