We all face disappointments in life. But in sport – and especially in an elite level competitive sport such as World Cups and the Olympic Games - some factors make these disappointments much harder to accept or deal with. Football players of National Teams and Olympians have to wait four long years to put right what went wrong, and along with that endure four years of gruelling training with no guarantee of a better result next time, or of even making the team.
I’ve been told by persons I consider to be high achievers and who’ve done it all in the respective disciplines, that broadening your identity during and after the process is critical especially in the world we live in today. In other words, even when you are part of a journey, start seeing yourself outside of that arena so that when the journey takes a new direction you are in a sense already somewhat prepared to face what will be coming.
Research shows that when you have a singular sporting identity, there is a much greater chance of falling apart when things go wrong. Instead, cultivate a broader sense of self through understanding yourself outside of your sport. Even if you don’t have time to do much else outside of sport, you can still work on valuing yourself as a person and your personal characteristics and qualities, so that your accomplishments in sport are not your only avenue for self-worth. Think of five non-sport-related skills, accomplishments, or qualities as a starting point.
I read where Dr. Sally Hilton spoke about “Moving the Goalposts”. “This isn't about changing the goal as much as broadening the goal and shifting your perspective towards relishing the whole experience of a sporting career rather than being exclusively focused on a particular outcome. There needs to be some element of reward in the journey.”
“Knowing that you have come to terms with a devastating loss builds huge resilience and will contribute to reducing your fear of failure, freeing you up to take risks knowing you can live with what happens next. Ask yourself: How can I use this to become a better version of me (in sport and in life)?”
At some point in our lives, we’ve all had to deal with a dose of disappointment on a large scale, some more than others. Some care more about what happens while others move-on at a quicker rate.
When a group of players fails in a campaign, everyone involved could feel that their soul was bruised, their heart feels heavy, and ached uncontrollably. Four years of hard work - early mornings, sore muscles, sacrifices, missed birthdays; delayed holidays and even weddings, time with friends, family occasions, all so that they could put maximum effort into performing in a qualifying campaign and tussle with the world’s and region’s finest.
Feeling the pain will eventually give you motivation, the fuel to go at it again, fuel for the fire. And what better time than when the opportunity presents itself to give it another go at another campaign.
The upside to disappointment is what opportunity have you now been given? What's the new journey that you are going to take? What's your new desire? This focus helps you put your disappointment into perspective and start to plan out the processes and steps that are needed to achieve your new ambition. Working backward from your goal can often be helpful.
Part of being ambitious and having high expectations means that you will fail more than you succeed, you have to be able to handle disappointment. Disappointment shows that you put yourself out there and gave it a shot, that is being brave and it takes a whole lot of courage. Get back up, keep your expectations high, stay ambitious, and go back at it!
The Trinidad and Tobago football teams, Windies cricket, and our athletes heading to Tokyo, not to forget our athletes on the ground at home who are awaiting the chance to resume activities, are all now in "fightback" mode. This is a chance to embrace the joy of fighting back and proving our real worth.
Editor's note: Shaun Fuentes is the head of TTFA Media. He is a former FIFA Media Officer at the 2010 FIFA World Cup in South Africa and 2013 FIFA U-20 World Cup in Turkey The views expressed are solely his and not a representation of any organisation. shaunfuentes@yahoo.com