What do couples fight about most? Family? Sure. Sex? Certainly. But one of the biggest sources of contention between couples is money, the attainment, allocation, management, and even the lack thereof. This is especially true if one of you is an ant and the other a grasshopper; the attraction of opposites may add spice in the bedroom, but when it comes to balancing the books, it's vital that both of you be on the same page.
Find out where you stand
The first step to getting a grasp on your finances is knowing exactly how much is coming in, how much is going out, and how much you have in the kitty right now. And you don't need to have your ACCA to do it.If you're handy with apps and spreadsheets, there are lots of little programmes available to help you tot up your data. Otherwise, good old paper and pencil will do. Obviously, you'll list the big things, like loans and mortgages, but don't forget smaller commitments like tithes or donations, hire purchase and credit card payments.
Find the leaks... and plug them
If you're constantly yourself asking "Where did all our money go?" you need to take a closer look at your spending. The money isn't dribbling out of a hole in your pocket. Get all Sherlock Holmes on your money habits. Save your receipts, EVERY single one, even little chits from the Ten Dollar Store. Keep them well organised and sorted by type: Food, Utilities, Entertainment, etc. And no, a shoebox is not a filing system.
Since the nuts man doesn't give receipts, start a spending log. A little cheap notebook will do. You'll feel like an idiot writing down "Nuts - $4", but over the space of a few months, you'll begin to see patterns. Chances are you'll find the source of your financial leak, and plug it up before you become too anaemic.
Agree on a goal
Sure, sure, we all know you're supposed to save a little every month, but the question is, what are you saving for? And, more importantly, what are you saving for TOGETHER? If he wants a car and you're hankering after a vacation, something's gotta give. Perhaps you can agree on priorities; you'll get the car this year and postpone the vacation for next year. Or a certain percentage of your savings can go to each, so you each feel you're nearing your goal.
You are not the Joneses
Why would you want to keep up with someone you aren't? Childless couples, people with grown kids, home-bodies and world adventurers all have different needs. And if your neighbour's kids are sweating their A Levels while your ankle-biters are still scooting around on the carpet, your financial needs won't be the same as theirs. Different couples need different plans. The trick is in finding one that suits you.
Agree on how to pool your money
Joint account? Separate accounts? Separate accounts AND a household account? Figuring out what works best for you depends on several variables. Are you comfortable giving someone–even someone you love–full access to your money? Is one of you (or, yikes, are BOTH of you) enough of a spendaholic to put your finances in jeopardy? Is one of you so lax with bill payments that chances are good you'll come home one day to a darkened house or a dead phone?Either nominate the most responsible (read: nit-picky) partner to be in charge of the bills, especially the more critical ones, like mortgage, utilities, loans and hire purchase, or assign specific payments to each of you.
And even if you choose the joint account option, it's always a good idea to have a small personal account of your own. You may never need to use your mad money, but you'll breathe more freely knowing it's there.
You're only young once
No, this isn't an excuse to throw financial caution to the wind and party like it's 2099. The older you get, the faster the hands on your clock seem to spin, and retirement is closer than you think. And while you could probably get away with day-to-day financial management with a good app and some common sense, retirement planning isn't something you should do on your own.
Ask your bank or other financial institution if they have advisors on staff, or consult a financial planner. Set up at least two good plans; the market is unpredictable, and knowing you have backup will make you more secure. Your relation-ship will certainly hit rough seas from time to time, and if you have the strength, you can weather it. But don't let the tidal wave of poor money management sink you. Stand firm on your financial sea legs, and your cargo of love and devotion will land safely on the other side.
TIPS
Talk to your loved ones about what your dreams are. This seems like an odd way to save money, but think about it. If you spend time with the people you love the most and come to some consensus about your dreams, it becomes easy for you all to plan for it. If you're all planning and working together towards this dream, it becomes easier to stay focused on it and reach it. Set a big, audacious goal together and encourage each other to be financially fit � soon, you'll find you're doing it naturally and your dreams are coming closer than ever.