Caring for a parent is indeed an honour and a very rare opportunity for many. However, trying to balance the household, build my company, keep the husband happy and care for an ageing mother are easier said than done. It often becomes quite a challenge to perform all the tasks simultaneously. Something always has to give or be sacrificed and most times it is my wants and needs. Everything else comes first, especially the needs of my mother. Finding the right balance in my life is indeed a great challenge.
Finance for a Family Caregiver is another great challenge. Finances are always strained, but you make the best of what you have or don’t have. Unfortunately, due to this financial challenge, many Family Caregivers are unable to give the type of support needed for their parents.
Additionally, as a woman, my role is to still care for the household. While my husband supports me in many ways, it is still my responsibility to keep it together - or is it? Am I caught in the illusion that only a woman can take care of the home? Do we put unnecessary pressure on ourselves as women? To these questions, I would say “Yes”. It always seems as though we have to prove ourselves to our business colleagues, family, friends, loved ones and parents.
It is even harder for us to factor in self-care. I sometimes ask myself: “Where do I find the time? Would I be selfish in taking care of myself first? What would “they” say?” The guilt is very real, especially for female Family Caregivers. You become thorn between yourself and yourself. It sounds crazy but you are truly faced with an internal struggle. How do you get out?
I took a step many years ago to take care of myself first. As an only child, I don’t have the backup of a brother or sister so I have to take full responsibility for my mother’s care. However, the only way I can really take care of her to the best of my ability, is to put me first. I ensure that my medical check-ups are on time, I exercise regularly and I manage what I eat. Relaxation is also necessary but I must admit that I have not been able to do this in its full capacity just yet. It is a work in progress.
With all the challenges that family caregivers face, it is my hope that more can be done regarding the ageing population and the services being offered.
Challenges aside though, I am truly honoured to be caring for my mother. She did it for me, so why can’t I do the same for her? Women need to stand together, support and be sensitive to each other because together, we share an unbreakable bond.
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Asha Mungal is the founder of Care Safety Solutions Limited which provides products and services for seniors. She also writes an article on “Self-Care for Family Caregivers and started the Caregivers Support Group of Trinidad & Tobago.