Every day for the past six months, Seema Bhagwandeen has been writing letters to her 11-year-old daughter. It gives her comfort, although she knows Rachel will never read them.
Lost in grief, Bhagwandeen sometimes loses track of the days as she prays that time goes by quickly.
Clutching on to her faith in God to keep her family from drowning in a sea of anguish, Bhagwandeen said every day since Rachel was mauled to death by an American bulldog at her relative’s Vistabella home last August, her three surviving children, Krystal, 22, Jadon, 16 and Jaylon, nine, and her husband, Kelvin, have been living “one day at a time.”
In a heart-wrenching interview with Guardian Media at their Freeport home, Rachel parents, both pastors, said their grief is compounded, knowing that they have not gotten any justice.
In their home are several framed photos and a large banner of Rachel.
Tucked between the parents on a couch was a pillow printed with a collage of her photos, encased in Rachel’s jacket.
As the tears rolled down her checks, Bhagwandeen said their grief intensifies as the Secondary Entrance Examination (SEA) exam approaches on March 29 and her birthday on April 17.
“SEA is approaching, and my daughter was so excited for SEA. Rachel was putting effort into SEA. Her joy was to pass for Naparima Girls’ or Holy Faith Convent in Couva,” sobbed the mother.
Confident that her daughter would have passed for her first choice, she said Rachel had aspirations of becoming a veterinarian and a fashion designer.
“I was so excited for this child for SEA you would not believe, every day going by I checking the dates. How am I going to cope with those days, SEA on the 29th and her birthday on April 17,” lamented Bhagwandeen.
For her funeral, Rachel was dressed in the outfit she had chosen for her graduation.
Haunted by the images of her daughter’s petite body being mutilated and thrashed by the dog, she said, “A lot of people tell you it gets easier as the days go by. I guess if my daughter was ill or had some sort of issue that would have made it easier for her to rest, I could understand that, but she was perfectly healthy. She was fine, a good baby girl, so bright, so brilliant and to lose her like that it is hard.”
When the dog came into the room, Rachel told Jaylon to run, but she was no match for the 170-pound dog.
Bhagwandeen recalled that when she entered the room the dog had Rachel pinned on the ground.
“She was flat on her belly and when I pull the collar he was going down deeper on her neck so I let go the collar and I was pushing him with my knee and he was not letting go and she start to cry, she said.
She said the dog began shaking her violently and then dropped her frail and limped body when the owner came in.
“She was already dead. I know when my baby girl breath left her,” she cried.
Bhagwandeen said they were told that the dog was not euthanised because a vet said the animal was too healthy.
Complaining that the justice system failed them, she wept, “She never get closure, is like nobody cares, not a single soul in Trinidad and Tobago, in law system, nobody never reach out to you to give you information about it...It is really unfair.”
Lamenting that since Rachel’s death, at least two other children were attacked by dogs, Kelvin said, “Is not like I want to get anyone charged. I just want to get the dog put down because it could happen again...It just keep happening and nobody is not doing anything about it. I told myself, my child should not die for nothing. Something should be put in place because these dogs are not pets,” he said.
Police confirmed that the dog owner was not charged and the dog has been relocated to an unknown address.