If love is timeless and age should not define a person, should consenting adults be judged on their age preferences concerning romantic relationships?
Love has no set definition, yet society seems hell-bent on creating crazy standards and expectations that people are constantly pressured to follow. Our minds are sometimes trained to be limited when it comes to matters concerning age difference and what is accepted. I am not talking of child marriages and any sort of union between underage individuals, but this article puts focus on adult relationships and its limitations. Women are told to marry a man older than they are but not “too” old and men are told to marry younger women. However, just like all other aspects in life, mindset and relationship dynamics are changing and we can see age becoming less of an issue in modern relationships.
Two adults with shared likes, shared interests and shared goals should be allowed to date if attraction is present. Its surreal that a woman will refuse to date a man that is two years younger than she is due to fear of what her friends and family will think. I know people are fearful that a younger man represents immaturity or an older female represents commitment, but this is just a stereotype. Age does not equal maturity, what it provides is experience. If people make the decision to learn from their experiences, well, that is a whole different story.
I know both men and women who are in their forties and are still immature thinkers. A 40-year-old man can have the mindset of a 20-year-old and vice versa. I know of older women who gossip more than younger women and younger women who are way more responsible than their mothers. I’ve seen young men who grasp the importance of marriage faster than some grandfathers and then there are people who mature at the expected age and it just works out quite easily for them. Everyone’s journey is different.
There is no magic wand that will transform you into a mature person at age 30. If you are in a relationship with someone and there is a huge age difference between the two of you, the questions that need to be asked should circle around issues such as family planning, retirement etcetera. These conversations are key and really should not be avoided simply because major red flags and deal breakers for this type of union revolves around those topics. Decide on those factors before you make any big steps in your relationship. As a matter of fact that’s normal conversation for ANY relationship, so don’t skip out on it.
A love-based relationship between two adults is deeper than differences in age, colour, background and religion. If you want it to work, it can and it will. Everyone has relationship preferences and that’s perfectly fine, but this should not be limited because of fear of what society will think. Are you going to let the love of your life get away because she is five years older than you? Or let the man of your dreams slip away because he is 40 and you are 30? No, what really matters is if you are both on the same wavelength in your thinking, with shared goals and in each other’s hearts for the morally right reasons and intentions.
According to Mark Twain, “Age is a case of mind over matter; if you don’t mind it, it doesn’t matter!”