In a world where judge­ment, crit­i­cism, and com­par­i­son seem to be ever-present, it’s easy to fall vic­tim to feel­ings of in­fe­ri­or­i­ty. We of­ten find our­selves seek­ing val­i­da­tion and ap­proval from oth­ers, al­low­ing their opin­ions to de­fine our self-worth. How­ev­er, Eleanor Roo­sevelt’s fa­mous quote, “No one can make you feel in­fe­ri­or with­out your con­sent,” holds a pow­er­ful truth.

At its core, Eleanor Roo­sevelt’s quote em­pha­sis­es the sig­nif­i­cance of per­son­al agency and au­ton­o­my over our emo­tions. While oth­ers may of­fer their opin­ions, judge­ments, or crit­i­cisms, we have the choice to ei­ther ac­cept or re­ject them. This choice, this con­sent, be­comes the piv­otal fac­tor in de­ter­min­ing how their words af­fect us.

In our pur­suit of self-worth, we of­ten seek val­i­da­tion from ex­ter­nal sources, such as friends, fam­i­ly, col­leagues, or even strangers on so­cial me­dia. How­ev­er, re­ly­ing sole­ly on ex­ter­nal val­i­da­tion cre­ates a frag­ile foun­da­tion for our self-es­teem. It leaves us vul­ner­a­ble to the opin­ions of oth­ers, mak­ing us sus­cep­ti­ble to feel­ing in­fe­ri­or when their val­i­da­tion is ab­sent or neg­a­tive.

True self-worth comes from with­in and is built up­on a sol­id un­der­stand­ing of our own val­ues, strengths, and abil­i­ties. When we shift our fo­cus in­ward and learn to val­i­date our­selves, we be­come less re­liant on oth­ers’ opin­ions and judge­ments. We can choose to val­ue our own self-as­sess­ment above any­one else’s.

Build­ing re­silience against feel­ings of in­fe­ri­or­i­ty be­gins with cul­ti­vat­ing self-com­pas­sion. We must recog­nise that we are hu­man be­ings who make mis­takes, have flaws, and are con­stant­ly learn­ing and grow­ing. In­stead of be­rat­ing our­selves for per­ceived short­com­ings, we need to prac­tice self-kind­ness and treat our­selves with the same un­der­stand­ing and sup­port we would of­fer a dear friend.

By adopt­ing self-com­pas­sion, we de­vel­op a nur­tur­ing in­ner voice that coun­ters neg­a­tive self-talk and ex­ter­nal crit­i­cism. We ac­knowl­edge our wor­thi­ness and fo­cus on our progress rather than dwelling on our per­ceived in­ad­e­qua­cies.

Some­times, feel­ings of in­fe­ri­or­i­ty arise from com­par­ing our­selves to oth­ers. How­ev­er, it’s cru­cial to re­mem­ber that every­one has their own unique strengths and weak­ness­es. We can­not ac­cu­rate­ly com­pare our jour­ney to some­one else’s, as we each have dif­fer­ent back­grounds, ex­pe­ri­ences, and cir­cum­stances.

Rather than view­ing oth­ers as com­peti­tors, we can shift our per­spec­tive to one of col­lab­o­ra­tion and in­spi­ra­tion. We can cel­e­brate their achieve­ments while recog­nis­ing that their suc­cess does not di­min­ish our own val­ue or po­ten­tial. By em­brac­ing this mind­set, we can free our­selves from the detri­men­tal cy­cle of com­par­i­son.

One way to pro­tect our­selves from feel­ing in­fe­ri­or is by tak­ing con­trol of our own nar­ra­tive. We should not al­low the opin­ions of oth­ers to de­fine who we are. In­stead, we must ac­tive­ly shape our self-per­cep­tion by fo­cus­ing on our strengths, ac­com­plish­ments, and the pos­i­tive im­pact we have on the world.

By en­gag­ing in pos­i­tive self-talk, set­ting re­al­is­tic goals, and cel­e­brat­ing our achieve­ments, no mat­ter how small, we build a re­silient self-im­age that is less sus­cep­ti­ble to ex­ter­nal in­flu­ences. We be­come the au­thors of our own sto­ries, em­pow­ered to de­fine our­selves on our terms.

Eleanor Roo­sevelt’s in­sight­ful quote serves as a re­minder of our in­her­ent pow­er over our emo­tions and self-per­cep­tion. While we can­not con­trol the opin­ions and judge­ments of oth­ers, we can choose how we re­spond to them. By em­brac­ing self-com­pas­sion, shift­ing our per­spec­tives, and tak­ing con­trol of our own nar­ra­tive, we can shield our­selves from feel­ing in­fe­ri­or and cul­ti­vate an un­shake­able sense of self-worth.

Re­mem­ber, no one can make you feel in­fe­ri­or with­out your con­sent. It is with­in your pow­er to re­ject the neg­a­tive nar­ra­tives and ex­ter­nal in­flu­ences that seek to di­min­ish your self-worth. You are the gate­keep­er of your emo­tions and self-per­cep­tion, and by ex­er­cis­ing this pow­er, you re­claim your au­ton­o­my and build a strong foun­da­tion of self-con­fi­dence.

In this jour­ney of self-em­pow­er­ment, it is es­sen­tial to sur­round your­self with a sup­port­ive net­work of in­di­vid­u­als who up­lift and in­spire you. Seek out re­la­tion­ships and com­mu­ni­ties that val­ue au­then­tic­i­ty, cel­e­brate di­ver­si­ty, and en­cour­age per­son­al growth. Sur­round­ing your­self with pos­i­tive in­flu­ences will re­in­force your be­lief in your own abil­i­ties and make it eas­i­er to re­sist the neg­a­tive en­er­gy that may come your way.

It’s im­por­tant to re­mem­ber that we are all works in progress. Em­brace the con­cept of con­tin­u­ous self-im­prove­ment, know­ing that growth takes time and ef­fort. Fo­cus on per­son­al de­vel­op­ment and set re­al­is­tic goals that align with your pas­sions and val­ues. Cel­e­brate the small vic­to­ries along the way and recog­nise that set­backs are sim­ply op­por­tu­ni­ties for learn­ing and growth. By in­vest­ing in your own growth and de­vel­op­ment, you will strength­en your sense of self and re­duce the im­pact of ex­ter­nal judge­ments.

Jan­ice Lear­mond-Criqui, CPC, CaribDE, Cer­ti­fied Pro­fes­sion­al Coach, per­son­al de­vel­op­ment and soft skills train­er, mo­ti­va­tion­al speak­er.

jan­icel­criqui@gmail.com

www.jan­ice­lear­mond­criqui.com/