Recently, I watched the music video for Tight and Pretty. Let me first say that the young performer is clearly talented, confident and comfortable on stage. I hope some of our more experienced artistes will take her under their wing and help her develop her gift, because she has the potential to become a very successful singer. I also believe she can achieve that success without relying on songs with sexually explicit lyrics.
That said, the fact that a teenager is being allowed to perform lyrics of this nature raises a much bigger issue. Who is guiding this child? Who is making the decisions about the material she performs? Her mother has made it clear that she fully supports her daughter, but what about the producers and everyone else involved?
Did no one involved in producing the song and music video see anything inappropriate about it?
The issue, however, extends beyond this one song or this one child. Perhaps it is time we take a deeper look at the culture we have created in Trinidad and Tobago.
We are a people who love music, dance and celebration. Ours is a vibrant culture of which we are rightly proud. From a very young age, children grow up surrounded by parties, fetes and family limes. But somewhere along the way, we have become far too comfortable placing children in adult spaces.
While liming is “we thing” and we proudly boast that Trinbagonians know how to lime better than anyone else, we often fail to recognise that the environments we create are not always suitable for children.
We see adults liming in rum shops and bars with young children by their side. We attend children’s birthday parties where there is more alcohol than children’s entertainment, with bottles displayed on tables alongside party bags.
We also see children dressed like grown men and women. Dance competitions at children’s events encourage young girls to “wine” provocatively, while at family gatherings adult music blares with children present. In truth, there are very few soca or chutney songs that are genuinely child-friendly.
Then there is the dancing, where “wining,” “wukking up yuh waist” and other sexually suggestive movements are performed openly in front of children.
At some point, we have to acknowledge that children imitate the behaviour and culture adults normalise around them.
So I was not particularly surprised when the child’s mother said: “When she was singing positive songs, nobody didn’t want to hear. So she put her hands on this and it really got all the publicity it needed.”
That statement is perhaps the most troubling part of this entire discussion. How can you teach your child differently if you genuinely believe this is what society wants? How can you encourage better choices if you have accepted that sexualisation is the pathway to attention and success?
We can begin by acknowledging that not everything accepted as normal within our culture is appropriate for children. That does not mean rejecting our culture.
Rather, it means establishing healthy boundaries within it.
Children need adults who can say: “Yes, you can sing, but not those lyrics.” “Yes, you can dance, but not every dance is appropriate for your age.” “Yes, you can dress well, but you do not need to look like a grown woman or a grown man to be attractive.”
Parents cannot shield children from everything. They will hear adult songs in maxi taxis, on social media and in public spaces. But there is a significant difference between incidental exposure and adults actively encouraging a child to perform sexually explicit material. There is also a clear distinction between a child repeating adult lyrics and adults defending those lyrics as a strategy for gaining publicity.
This is where every adult involved has a responsibility. Parents, producers, promoters, DJs, videographers, relatives and event organisers all have a role to play. A child may possess extraordinary talent, but talent without proper guidance can easily be exploited. A child may want to perform, but it is the responsibility of adults—not children—to determine what is appropriate.
In the age of social media, that responsibility is even greater.
Years ago, a child singing an adult song at a family lime might have remained a family memory. Today, it is recorded, shared, reposted and viewed by thousands, sometimes millions, of people.
A child can become a viral sensation and the subject of national debate long before she is emotionally mature enough to process the criticism, praise and scrutiny that accompany public attention.
That is why adults must think beyond the excitement of the moment. Publicity may be fleeting, but a child’s wellbeing has lifelong consequences.
No child should have to act like an adult simply to be noticed. Our culture will always influence our children, but it is responsible parenting—and responsible adults—that must ensure they are not forced to grow up before their time.
