I want a Lawnbott robot lawn mower to put some unscrupulous eye-gouging whacker men out of business. With one of those babies operating in my yard, I will be freed up to do other chores.The robot mower is extremely quiet. It can literally work tirelessly at any time, day or night. You can mow your lawn at 3 am and not disturb your neighbours. I wouldn't have to put up with drug and alcohol-addled brains coming with tricks running the full gamut like these again: The power of cocaine. "Boss, you know the lady down the street?" When you say you do, he starts walking brass-faced out your front gate with your lawnmower with the intention to mow her lawn. You tell him to bring back your mower, for even though I might know her, she didn't pay for it or help with the repairs.
My neighbour could get his grass cut for a certain price and I would get a 300 per cent hike in the price from the same lawn extortionists. I allowed one Shylock to cut my lawn once even though I knew I was paying more than he charged my neighbour. He wanted to exact his pound of flesh and raised the price on his second visit. I told him thanks but no thanks, I would break out my own weed whacker and start cutting my own lawn again. Another wacky whacker man wanted money first before he even started. That was his first and last time on my property. A next looney lawn man wanted me to pay him now and he would come back and finish cutting my lawn later. Practitioners of "better living through chemistry" never come at the arranged time; they show up to cut the lawn when you want to sleep or have lunch, and end up raiding your fruit trees. One corpulent character was so "thirsty" for money, probably to buy food. I told him my lawn was cut already, he said he would only charge me $80 for cutting with no grass clipping pickup. After agreeing on a price, one greedy grass cutter started cutting my lawn, and not even halfway through, demanded more money.
A weedhead came in front my gate with a weed whacker in one hand and a lit joint in the other. After hearing his "higher than a kite" price I asked him if he was serious. I don't know if it registered looking at his glazed, red eyes. I gave him the same remark I gave another head-wrapped whacker man who quoted some ridiculously-exorbitant price: "You could buy a lot of marijuana for that money." Then there is the lawn-cutting crew that provides an out of body service: their bodies are on your property doing a half-hearted rush job on your lawn while their minds are elsewhere on the next job. In the war on grass death my death-dealing weapon of choice is a Stihl FSE 60 electric trimmer until I get a Lawnbott. There is no hassle with mixing gas and oil as with a gas-powered trimmer, and it is as powerful as many gas trimmers. As long as there's electricity you can wail away at the grass until you get tired. I replaced the cutting head with a PivoTrim trimmer head, which makes reloading line a breeze. Cutting your own lawn with your weed whacker can be fun. It's also good exercise and saves you money. I can't wait to get my hands on a Lawnbott.
