Tricia St John
I spent Mother’s Day in bed. Not because I was sick or anything, but because I just wanted to be alone. I didn’t cook. I didn’t respond to or send the usual, numerous greetings that society seems to now be addicted to, and I don’t even think I ate until much later on. I just lay in bed and thought about my children and gave thanks that they are all adults and no longer my responsibility. It’s amazing how edifying that awareness is for me.
I remember preparing meals, baking on weekends, and the whirlwind of life with small children. School books, homework, new shoes, clothing, vitamins, outings, and toys at birthdays and Christmas. I remember lying in bed many a night, comforting myself with the knowledge that they would grow older and that it would definitely get easier every year until they were finally responsible for themselves.
In the evening, I got up and got myself prepared for the comedy show ‘Mammy Say’ held at Sound Forge and hosted by Jaron Nurse. I happen to love and identify with a lot of the songs sung by both Jaron and Blessed Messenger, and the fact that I hadn’t seen Learie Joseph on stage in a long time seemed like an added bonus. So, there I was, sitting in the crowd, totally enjoying myself. I saw some familiar faces.
A few women chatted me up because they remembered my TV interview a couple of weeks ago on ‘She Says So’. That interview somehow, after all this time, was actually one of my most difficult, and it always amazes me that people look at me and see so much strength. I see someone who has had too much. My children were small, and they needed me, and really, what was the other alternative? Roll over and die? Somehow, that didn’t sit well with me, and it still doesn’t.
Anyway, Jaron came on stage with a song that I’d never heard before. I don’t know if it was a new addition or if I’d just never heard of it. What happened is that as I listened to the words, they seemed to sink into my soul, comfort me, and also put a multitude of things into perspective.
Don’t forget God
know yuh situation,
Stay right there in
the same position.
It does feel like some of dem come, way after you
Dey now come! And it look like some of dem done get through.
But doh worry God timing is not your own. Ah want yuh stay right there in the waiting zone … good Lord in the waiting room.
Oftentimes, we get discouraged when we’ve been praying for what seems like an eternity, but we still aren’t seeing the results we want or think we deserve. Mothers pray for their children. To keep them focused and on the right path. Sometimes we pray to get them to take the right path because we see the destruction on the road they’re travelling happily along, a lot of times unaware, but the majority of times not because they don’t know better but because they have freedom of choice. Freedom of choice is a strange gift. It allows us to do as we well please but expects us to do the right thing, and holds us accountable when we don’t.
Wives pray for their husbands. For them to stop smoking or drinking. Be more helpful at home. To be romantic, remember birthdays and Valentines. To remain faithful. To stop cheating if that’s already their regular behaviour. To get better job opportunities. To help with the children more. To find salvation. To stop hitting or being emotionally and or verbally abusive. To lead.
Husbands pray for their wives. For them to stop smoking or drinking. Be more helpful at home. To be romantic, remember birthdays and Valentine’s. To remain faithful. To stop cheating if that’s already their regular behaviour. To get better job opportunities. To help with the children more. To find salvation. To stop hitting or being emotionally or verbally abusive. To allow them to lead.
Children pray for their parents. For salvation. For healing. For them to be around for a long time. There is a lot of understanding that comes only if and when we become parents ourselves. Women pray to become mothers. Men pray to become fathers.
It is easy to become discouraged and give up. Days turn into weeks, and those weeks turn into months that turn into years, and we still haven’t gotten pregnant. We didn’t get the promotion. Our children are still far from God or far from where we think they should be. Our husbands are still not leading as we think they should. And it feels like all we do is pray and hope, to no avail.
Who are you to say, though? We cannot see behind the scenes. We have no idea what God is doing or working out on our behalf. Sometimes he has to clean up the mess we ourselves make before he can bless us with what he knows we need. Sometimes, what we need is exactly what we prayed for, but sometimes it is not. Sometimes, when we wait, it is because God knows we are not yet ready for what we ask. Sometimes, regardless of how hard we pray for something, it is simply because that isn’t for us, because what God has in store is much better, will be more fulfilling, and will definitely be more of a blessing in our lives.
So, while you sit, stand, or kneel in the waiting room, keep at it. The ultimate goal is to stay there. Don’t lose hope. In the end, God’s timing is his alone, and regardless of whether we stamp, scream, or disobey, his timing is not influenced by anything except perhaps our dedication while in the waiting room.
