It is only a few days before Christmas, but I am hoping some seasonal advice could help us better manage ourselves. Staying emotionally safe is vitally important in this period. Knowing what things are triggers and remembering to pay attention to our emotions and that of those around us may make for a better holiday season.
For a very long period in my middle years, I did not have the emotional intelligence or regulation to remain resilient during Christmas. More than that, I did not have the information that would have prepared me for the seasonal mood fluctuations and was inefficient at managing them.
While we do not have the seasonal changes that would promote Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) as it is defined, much of the low moods experienced in those past depressive Christmases mimicked the sorrow and despair of those with episodes of SAD, which comes with the shorter daylight hours during winter.
December was a time when I would always consider using antidepressant medication or a session of talk therapy to cope.
If this scenario describes you now, my best advice is to seek help as soon as possible. There is no shame in admitting we are struggling and need help, especially when we consider that our moods could disrupt the entire celebration for everyone.
Remember, it is not only people diagnosed with or living with mental disorders who experience sadness at this time. Christmas is a very stressful and emotional period. We may have to admit that we invite a lot of stressors, but I will set aside judgement since there is little to say that may influence people steeped in the traditional hustle.
People undergoing other health issues may experience depression, too. Physical health complications make it difficult to have the usual capability, and those who are ill, as well as caregivers or household members, should remain cognisant of the emotional strains.
Approaches for supporting your mental health
* Pay attention to your feelings. Recognise what you are feeling and take time to treat your emotions. The holidays bring a lot of joy and an equal amount of sadness. Many of us may not even recognise why we are sad but sometimes finances, grief from past incidents, memories of lost ones or even managing death and mourning can weigh us down. The important thing is to remember it is okay to feel sad despite it being a happy time and take steps to address your feelings.
* Limit your alcohol intake: Substance abuse is a major issue during the holidays. Avoiding misuse of alcohol and illicit drugs is one of the best ways to manage your mental health and emotional well-being. Drunkenness, in my experience, is one of the saddest “by-products” of what we dub “Trini Christmas.”
* Have a self-care plan: Remember to schedule your rest and relaxation. Plan downtime for each day especially if you are busy with preparations. If you can go out by yourself or with your family into nature for a while–a quiet place, the beach even, get away from the rush. Or maybe schedule journalling time, movie time, yoga or meditation throughout the holiday period.
* Share up the work: Since you may not be convinced that you do not have to put out as much as you do, I am encouraging you to divvy the work, especially if the celebration is at your home.
* Exercise: So, I know you are chuckling now. But how can I stress the importance of exercise during the holidays? Our mood depends on the feel-good endorphins that exercise releases. And apart from moods and improving alertness, we are protecting our heart health, too. Exercise is an excellent tool to keep eating and caloric intake in check.
* Stay connected: If you are not with your family this year or if you generally do not have relatives around, make sure and connect with your community. Reach out to friends or neighbours rather than staying isolated. I have seen the lift in my spirits when I visit someone or take some Christmas groceries or a cooked meal. Helping and supporting others is purposeful and there are great emotional benefits.
* Too many of us neglect a proper plan for our mental health and well-being during the holidays. We over-extend ourselves into deep levels of housework and frustrations for weeks on end culminating in an abundance of cooking and entertaining on December 25, only to be too exhausted to even have a good recollection of the day.
This year let’s commit to having a better estimation of our mental wellbeing, good enough to know when we need an intervention–self-intervention or otherwise. And when we see ourselves failing or falling, seek help. If you feel overwhelmed it is time to stop and take care of yourself; if you feel you cannot cope, it is time to ask for help.
Remember, you are not alone.
If you need services to support your mental health, go to the T&T crisis support directory at: https://findcarett.com/
Have a Merry Christmas, everybody!