Carol Boon
The death of a family member is never easy, yet in the midst of the emotional turmoil of their grief, families who have lost someone dear to them must also bear the burden of arranging their loved one's final farewell.
"Jauharah de Souza, her older brothers Bevan and Nikolay and their mother, Sharon know the toll that death takes on a family having lost their beloved father - national cricketer and businessman Richard de Souza - to cancer in 2007 after a short battle. In the years since, they cemented plans to establish a funeral home with a difference � a place of comfort where grieving families could make funeral arrangements with the support of a family whose primary purpose is to ease the difficult task ensuring that a loved one's final send-off to eternity is celebrated in a manner worthy of their life. That funeral home is the R. M. de Souza Memorial Chapel Limited at #5 New Yalta on Diego Martin Main Road.
Jauharah, who handles the Chapel's marketing, explained what sets their family-owned and operated funeral home apart from other undertaker services. "I always tell people that they come in as strangers but leave as family. We know grief is not easy, so we want families who have lost a loved one to know that when they come through our door, we will take care of everything for them from registration all the way to after-care."
In the year since the R. M. de Souza Memorial Chapel opened on March 1st last year, Jauharah and her family have lived up to that promise by going the extra mile for their clients. Working as the close-knit family unit they've always been, they ensure that two de Souza directors receive the deceased into their care; they personally handle all the legal paperwork for funerals, burials and cremation; they arrange programmes, order flowers and personally attend every funeral service; and have even instituted a 'Plant-A-Tree' service for the families of the cremated, where the ashes are scattered at the base of a plant and a memorial plaque erected. Going a step further, Jauharah also mentioned, "We want the families who come to us to have the comfort of knowing the funeral we planned for them wasn't just a business transaction. So we try to call them on a monthly basis to see how they're doing. Even when I'm on the road and meet a deceased's family member, I take the time to stop and talk with them. They are now part of 'our' family."
When asked how she helps families cope with the reality of funeral expenses, Jauharah noted, "To me, it's very cold and difficult to ask a grieving family up front, 'How are you paying for this?' Some families in their grief want to spend on an elaborate funeral but we try to rein them in, reminding them that they will still have expenses to pay in the future. If they have the money, that's fine. On the other hand, we have families who have only a set budget and we work within that for them. For us, arranging a funeral is never just about making money."
Did this St. Joseph Convent P.O.S past pupil and University of Toronto Bachelor of Business Administration graduate ever think that she would eventually end up in the undertaking business? Hardly. "When I was little, I was always into sports - running, gymnastics, tennis and ballet. I dreamed of being a ballerina and later, wanted to become a pediatrician. After studying Marketing at university, I wanted to work with a company that was dynamic, always changing and where I would always be on the road. I never thought I would end up in a funeral home. But to be honest, it fits directly into what I like to do. I love meeting people and talking with them. Here, I meet families on a daily basis and I'm always on the road." She went on to add, "People often ask me, 'Why are you in this business?' I tell them, every one of the families who comes to us has their unique memories and stories. That's important because their loved ones and family life needs to be celebrated. Grief is hard and yes, we have to go through the stages, but seeing the love and hearing the stories of their lives is irreplaceable."
Jauharah went on to add that, for her personally, sharing her experience at coping with her father's death helps. "I always treat the families who come to us as though they are part of ours and not strangers. Talking about my experience with Dad helps families open up to me and explain what happened to their loved one. This helps break the formality of making funeral arrangements." Her father's passing also taught Jauharah to accept rather than fear death. "I believe that your soul lives on even after burial or cremation. I personally believe in heaven and that when we die, we will live in paradise. With death comes life.
It's a circle."
Judging from the closeness she had with her father and feels for her brothers and mother who now memorialize him in the love they have poured into the Memorial Chapel that bears his name, Jauharah is committed to her belief that, "Family is everything. They are the people who will never leave your side. They never shut you out, they never close that door."
She later added, "I hope that when I pass on and if I have a family of my own, they will see all the hard work that I have put into and the difference I wanted to make in the funeral home. I want my children to be able to talk about me the way that I talk about my parents � the values, discipline and importance of family. I hope that I leave that impression not only on my family but on other families. I also want to be remembered for giving back to society and helping others. I'm not trying to be a hero. I'm just trying to make a difference."
